It’s December of 2020; we’re in the final weeks of one of the most eventful years in modern history — and yet here we are, still talking about Angelina Pivarnick’s wedding to Chris Larangeira, which took place way back in November of 2019.
So what’s left to be said about the reception — and that infamous bridesmaids speech?
Well, probably quite a bit.
And Angelina is probably about to scream all about it on next week’s episode of Jersey Shore.
Yes, the countdown to Angeliners arrival in Vegas began last week, but because the show is forced to do a lot with very little in terms of story this season, Pivarnick still hasn’t arrived at the hotel.
We had other things to keep us busy, of course, like Ronnie’s Trouble Shot at Love, which ended rather anti-climactically with Single Ronnie sending all of the women home.
But the focus of the season remains the ensuing clash between Deena, JWoww, and Angelina.
We probably don’t need to tell you how the conflct between the three women started, as there probably aren’t that many people who totally disconnected from Jersey Shore last year and are suddenly looking to get back into it.
Suffice it to say, the bridesmaids speech the ladies delivered at Angelina’s wedding was so severe that Snooki quit the show.
And that’s how we wound up in our current predicament, in which an entire episode is devoted to a jorts-clad Ronnie speed dating a bunch of Vegas residents before sending them all packing.
But after more weeks of stage-setting than a Game of Thrones battle, the big moment is almost at hand.
The only problem is that as of last night, Deena still didn’t know about it.
"Reality is going to hit us in the face tomorrow when Angelina arrives," Vinny complained.
"It’s been 10 months since the wedding. Tomorrow is actually going to be the first day they may cross paths," Mike added, as though the guys weren’t responsible for this whole situation.
"This double booking backfired. We did it all wrong," admitted Pauly.
"Mike messed up logistics, we didn’t know Deena was pregnant. Now we have this big surprise we have to fix."
To be fair, when they arranged the "double booking" the guys were unaware that Deena is pregnant with her second child.
"Being pregnant, it really puts in perspective with Angelina, for me right now, I just don’t want that negative energy in my life," she told Sitch’s wife, Lauren.
"I just need zen. I don’t want to fight with anybody this pregnancy."
But whether they knew about the pregnancy or not, it was still a dumb plan.
Anyway, with the big moment finally at hand, the guys decided that Mike should finally clue Deena in with regard to what’s about to happen.
"I just feel that honesty’s the best policy and we had the best of intentions and we didn’t even know you were pregnant," The Sitch said.
"We thought that you’re not gonna like this, but we didn’t know you were pregnant. We don’t want to stress you out, but we have a bit of a surprise for you."
"Just tell me what you have to frickin’ say," Deena demanded.
"Quite possibly Angelina is maybe, um, showing up very soon. Angelina’s gonna be here," Mike awkwardly blurted out.
"Angelina’s coming? Are you guys kidding?!" replied an understandably upset Deena.
The first Deena-Angelina meeting will apparently take place without JWoww, who’s still recovering from a cosmetic procedure that’s being passed off as dental work.
"I’m pretty nervous. I’m very anxious about this, I don’t know what these boys have up their sleeves," Pivarnick said to her husband.
"I just don’t want to feel like I’m being ambushed. I do want to just hang out and have fun. If it’s just me and the boys, I won’t be so mad. I’ll be really happy, actually."
She promised that things could get ugly if she’s under the same roof as her bridesmaids roasters.
"If Jenni and Deena do decide to show up, I’m not going to back down to them," she said. "I’m not a f–king p—y, sorry."
Well, it sounds like things are about to get nasty — but to be honest, this season could use some conflict that’s more compelling than the debate over Ronnie’s jorts.