Jill Duggar: I Like to Grope Derick Dillard When I've Been Drinking!

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Earlier this week, a photo of Jill Duggar drinking a piña colada absolutely scandalized fans of her notoriously conservative family.

Now, for most people, it's not a big deal to like piña coladas -- or getting caught in the rain, for that matter.

Jill Duggar Drinks!

But we probably don't need to tell you that the Duggars are a different breed.

Jim Bob and Michelle have probably never sipped a colada of any kind, and it's not because they have some intense aversion to Rupert Holmes' 1979 ode to frozen cocktails and infidelity.

No, the Duggars don't drink alcohol because they believe it's distilled by the devil and packaged by liberals in order to break down the family unit and turn kids toward into Satanic Democrats ... or something.

Derick Dillard and Jill Duggar: A Photo

So you can imagine their surprise when Jill brazenly flouted her family's rules by sipping an adult beverage in public and posting photographic evidence of her boozy fall from grace on Instagram.

The pic was widely interpreted as a big middle finger from Jill, directed squarely at her overbearing parents.

Fortunately, the comments on the photo were overwhelmingly supportive, with most fans expressing their support for Jill in her ongoing effort to get out from under her parents' thumb.

Jill Duggar and Husband in Masks

Unfortunately, one commenter felt the need to inquire about one of Jill and Derick's quirkier traits as a couple.

And Jill's response took us down a very dark path and showed us some things we would have preferred not to see.

Things started innocently enough with the follower inquiring as to why the Dillards always sit on the same side of the table when they go out to eat (and DRINK!!!).

Jill Duggar and Derek on Anniversary

“I always wonder why you sit next to each other and not opposite?” the fan asked, according to In Touch.

“I like to look at my hubby in the eyes when we are talking and laughing,” Jill replied.

“I’m very touchy-feely, so we like to sit on the same side of the booth always lol.”

Derick and Jill: The Dillards

Now, the first part of Jill's response doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Isn't it easier to look into someone's eyes when you're sitting across the table from them and not right next to them?

The second part makes sense -- but it conjures images we'd prefer not to think about.

Jill Duggar Dillard and Derick Dillard

Imagine you're doing your best to slog through a meal at Applebee's or The Cheesecake Factory or one of the other elevated fast food chains that the Duggars think of as fine dining.

The situation is unpleasant enough already, but now you're forced to deal with Jill Duggar -- bombed out of her mind off of three sips from her Dollar-ita -- getting all handsy with her hubby.

It's enough to make you yack up your Fiesta Lime Chicken.

Happy Anniversary to Us! Yay!

Of course, these acts of rebellion won't come as much of a shock to folks who have been watching Jill's Instragram page and noted that she's been hanging out at a wine bar owned by her cousin Amy.

But every new step away from authoritarianism is cause for celebration.

“Good for you!” one person commented on Jill's pic.

Jill and Amy Duggar Pic

“Many of us are proud of you for doing you, instead of what may be decided for you," the commenter added.

"You’re defining your own comfort zone and inspiring so many others. Enjoy, find peace in knowledge that you are inspirational. Keep pushing and keep expanding your mind!”

Of course, by groping Derick in a vinyl booth, she might also be inspiring her fellow diners to send back their baby back ribs.

Look, Jill and Derick are consenting adults, and they're free to do whatever they want in public ... within reason.

Really, it's none of our concern, and we just enjoy ribbing them.

But if someone were to point out that Jill is overcompensating for all those chaste, sober years of following the insane Duggar courtship rules, well ... we might be inclined to agree with them.

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