Elon Musk: I Never Banged Amber Heard, But I'll Beat the Sh-t Out of Johnny Depp!

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With the exception of our current president, it's possible that there's no public figure as sharply divisive as billionaire Tesla CEO Elon Musk.

To some, he's an innovative trailblazer; to others, he's a born-rich, idea-steal man-child playing fast and loose with his shareholders' money.

Elon Musk

We think it's safe to say Johnny Depp is among those who see Mr. Musk as little more than a privileged egomaniac with a dangerous penchant for running his mouth in a style that can only be described as Kanye-esque.

Currently, Depp is embroiled in a $50 million lawsuit against British tabloid The Sun.

The actor alleges that the newspaper is guilty of libel for referring to him as a "wife beater" in a piece published in 2018.

Johnny Depp at Court

And what does all of this have to do with Musk, you ask?

Well, among the many scandalous revelations made during Depp's civil trial is a claim that Musk had an affair with Amber Heard while she was married to Depp.

Musk addressed these claims for the first time in an interview with the New York Times on Sunday, and ... well, his comments are the sort of thing that can only come from an unhinged billionaire who dreams of stamping his company's logo on the surface of Mars.

Musk and Depp

“I definitely was not having an affair with Amber while she was married to Johnny, this is totally false,” he told the newspaper.

Addressing claims that he and Heard had a threesome with model Cara Delevingne, Musk remarked:

“We did not have the threesome, you know.

“So I think people think these things are generally more salacious than they are,” he added.

Elon Musk Smokes Pot

Pretty boilerplate stuff so far.

But that's when things took a turn for the weird.

In court last week, lawyers for The Sun revealed text messages between Depp and Lady Gaga's former fiance, Christian Carino.

“I’ll show him things he’s never seen before like the other side of his d-ck when I slice it off," Depp wrote at one point.

Elon Musk and Grimes at the 2018 MET Gala

“If Johnny wants a cage fight, just let me know," Musk said when asked about the text.

Musk was probably joking.

After all, the infamous interview in which he smoked a blunt with combat sport enthusiast Joe Rogan remains the closest that Elon has ever come to cool, and it makes sense that he would try and reach those heights as second time.

But one person who definitely was not laughing was actor Mickey Rourke, whose name can now be found on the miles-long list of people who want to kick Elon Musk's ass.

Mickey Rourke Mug Shot

“If Elon Musk is in a fighting mood he can fight someone his own size,” Rourke wrote on Instagram on Sunday.

“I’d gladly love the opportunity to take you to school mr. tough guy Elon Musk," he continued.

From there, Rourke offered details about the boxing match he imagined between Musk and himself:

Mickey Rourke IG

“Bare fists, elbows and knees and i will only use one hand -my left," the actor wrote.

“Instead of picking on someone who weighs 130 lbs i am calling your ass out,” Rourke continued, before signing off with “Warmest regards.”

Well, if there's anyone who still doubts that social media was a bad idea, please note that it's now become a venue for boomer thespians threatening to mop the floor with robber baron space nerds.

Time to shut the whole thing down.

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