Late last year, Kandi Burruss welcomed baby #3 with her husband, Todd Tucker. But they had a lot of issues to sort out before Blaze was born.
On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, viewers saw Kandi and Todd sit down with a therapist.
Unlike the high level drama in some of Kandi's castmates' marriages, Kandi and Todd are dealing with more common problems.
They are both busy and have hectic work schedules that keep them apart.
As a result of physical distance, a level of emtional distance has settled into their marriage. They want to make time for each other.
(Keep in mind that this was filmed last year, many months before the coronavirus pandemic reared its ugly head)
Todd is the first to admit that they're both very busy people.
"I think we’ve been so focused on success that we’ve become great business partners,” Todd characterizes.
“We love each other to death," he affirms.
"But," Todd laments, "we just haven’t had time to be happy lately."
Kandi admits that "Every now and then we have our moments where it’s like, ‘[Grrr].’"
She explains that tensions mount a little "because it’s been so much happening."
"We get stressed," she acknowledges, "and sometimes we can go off on each other.”
“For me," Kandi assesses, "it typically spawns from something work related."
Kandi also opens up about their marriage's sex life.
"It’s not as good as it used to be,” she confesses.
“Not saying the sex ain’t good," Kandi quickly clarifies.
"But," she explains, "meaning we haven’t been having sex as much."
Todd also agrees that their sex life could use a tune up.
"We get in the bed … get that out of our system …" he explains.
Todd continues: "we bot get back to work.”
“We on some real ‘conquer the world’ stuff, and it’s a gift and a curse," he says of their current over-the-top work ethic.
Another contentious issue for the two of them has been Kandi's ongoing (scripted) acting.
"When you come back, you book every hour that you have. It just doesn’t make sense,” Todd complains.
“At a certain point you have to be like, ‘I need my time with my family.’ … You’re doing the acting thing, on top of all the other s--t," he gripes.
"So it’s like, let some of that s--t, go spend some time with your family," Todd asks, "and then take your ass back out to Chicago to finish doing your acting thing."
Kandi responds: "I guess I’m just trying to make everything work."
Todd points out that he set aside a lot of his preferred work when the two of them met (when he was working with RHOA)
"I sacrificed a lot to support your dreams,” he reminds her.
“When I came into this situation with you," Todd characterizes, "I wasn’t good enough."
"It was like, I gotta speedball fast enough to make a lot of money so that I can be good enough," Todd explains.
He adds that he wanted to be "good enough not only to your mama, but to the f--king world."
Notably, Kandi's mother had hoped that her very successful daughter would marry a man who matched her net worth.
Todd acknowledges tht "It was a lot of pressure."
"I figured it out to make everybody else happy,” Tucker states.
“I don’t do the s--t that I like to do, like production and TV and film," he points out.
"That’s s--t that I was doing before," Todd says. "I haven’t really done that s--t."
"I didn’t take jobs because jobs didn’t pay me what I make now," he explains.
"I was able to become a business entity that makes a lot of money," Todd says.
"Everybody accepts the money guy," he characterizes. "He’s good, he’s the best, he’s this."
"But I’m not happy," Todd laments.
"I’m not really stepping out there because I’m so worried about making sure I stay this guy," he explains.
Another issue with stress was that they were expecting their next child at the time when this was filmed.
Blaze was born on November 22, 2019. The couple already has 4-eyar-old Ace Wells
Kandi has 17-year-old Riley from a previous relationship. Todd has Kaela, 23, from his own previous relationship.
The couple acknowledged that they were "excited," but Kandi would need to make more time for her family.
Todd explains: "I’m here at the house, I see how it affects the kids."
“My son … he’ll come, 4 a.m. and get in the bed and he’ll say, ‘Where’s mommy?’" he recalls.
"You can’t be at everything, so you have to prioritize what you value," Todd states.
"If you value your career, which I’m supporting you, then you prioritize your friends and their events, and then your family?" he says in a tone of dismay.
At this point, Kandi openly tears up.
"I do realize that I have an issue with trying to find balance," Kandi confesses.
She admits: "And I’m definitely a person that, even if I didn’t get a chance to sleep, if I was there to help support everybody’s thing, I would do that.”
Kandi affirms: “I’m not trying to [choose that over my family]." In the end, they agree to focus on giving themselves more time as a couple.