Look … all children are a blessing.
We’re not here to argue this point.
But some men and women are simply incompatible and, yes, even dangerous together and they really should not share any kids.
Yes, we’re looking at you when making this statement, troubled Jersey Shore star Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and girlfriend Jen Harley.
The on-again / off-again / on-again / off-again / holy-crap-are-they-really-on-again?!? couple are already parents, of course.
They have an adorable daughter named Ariana.
She was born in April of 2018 and one would think, or hope, that this momentous life event would bring Ron and Jen together.
Instead, her parents have spent every other week since fighting, arguing and alleging that the other assaulting him or her.
We’re barely even exaggerating here.
And yet… Ronnie just admitted that he and Harley remain a couple and MTV viewers watched in shock on Thursday night.
That’s when Ronnie dropped a different kind of bombshell: He said Harley might actually be pregnant again. (Gulp.)
On the latest installment of this revived reality series, the group took a trip to Lake George, New York in order to help Mike.
“The Situation” needed to get his mind off his recent jail sentencing, and what better way to do that than a road trip, right?
This mission was quickly accomplished, though not how we expected it, once everyone was sitting around a bonfire.
Okay … everyone sitting down? (Well, clearly they are, at the bonfire, and you are too. Rhetorical question, sorry.)
This setting is where Ronnie revealed that his lunatic sperm may have fertilized one of Jen’s insane eggs a second time.
“You might be pregnant?” replied Jenni “JWOWW” Farley.
“Shut the f-ck up. Ronaldo, are you serious?”
“Maybe,” he responded. “She’s late. … She wants to take [a pregnancy test] now, but I told her to wait. I want to be there when she does it.”
“My mind is blown right now,” Mike confessed.
Just like Ron’s … never mind.
Vinny Guadagnino, for his part, won the night with the best reaction, offering his friend some life advice while also asking the question on everyone’s minds:
Pull the f-ck out. What the f-ck is wrong with you?
(It’s a fair point. While the subject of many jokes and cliches, pulling out is like 90-95 percent effective for obvious reasons.)
Perhaps he just couldn’t help himself while in the throes of violent, rage-driven intercourse with his one-time baby mama.
In any case, RAHN didn’t let these responses get him down.
Yes, he and Jen have had their problems – and then some.
But that was then and this is now. Supposedly.
It was only a few months ago that Ronnie claimed Jen assaulted him with an ashtray and Jen claimed Ronnie ransacked her Las Vegas apartment.
However, “I love being a father,” he said on air last night, adding of the possibility that Harley is expecting again:
“I mean, I did it once. Second time will be the same thing, if not better.”
Continued the muscular veteran MTV personality:
“I’m excited about it, you know."
"I would rather have another child with Jen than have another child with another woman. Why would I want to have three baby moms?"
"It’s like, let’s have kids, get one baby’s mom, and that’s what it is.”
In their interviews with producers, though, other cast members weren’t quite so optimistic about the situation.
Remember, they think Jen totally sucks.
“It’s definitely crazy to think Jen’s pregnant again, because we just never know where they are in their relationship – if they’re happy, if they’re fighting, if she’s dragging him with a car,” said Snooki.
“I just want them to be good before they bring another baby into the world.”
Farley echoed this sentiment:
“I feel like they need about five years of therapy before another child. It’s my opinion, I’m allowed to have it. But apparently, they’re fine. As he’s sitting there with another black eye.”
And Pauly D? Let’s have your thoughts…
“Like, what the f-ck, dude? You haven’t learned yet?"
"Their relationship is a roller coaster."
"The last thing they need to do is have another baby. Ron says he’s fine with it, but we all know it’s only a matter of time before he falls apart.”
Ronnie did check into rehab earlier this year for alcoholism and depression.
This either means he’s at a healthier place than ever before… or that Harley drove him to seek professional help and his pals are right, she’s a very bad influence on him.
In the end, the question of Jen’s pregnancy was not resolved on the episode.
But it was filmed months ago and there’s been no talk of her being with child since, so it’s safe to assume this was a false, very scary alarm.
After all, Ortiz-Magro talked to Us Weekly just a few days ago and said his relationship with Jen is actually great, never bringing up an impending baby.
“Things are good and I think it’s because I made a change and I stopped doing the same thing over and over again,” he told this tabloid, concluding:
“I started just focusing on myself and stopped worrying about what other people wanted from me, and what I want for myself. So right now things are good.”