Move over, Scarface. Step aside, Escobar.
There's a new kingpin in town, and he's ... well, actually, he's pretty terrible at his job, so you guys can probably just stay put.
According to The New York Post, the man in the mugshots above was arrested at Barcelona's international airport after police discovered half-kilo (1.1 pounds) under his wig.
The Post article opens with "He had hell toupee," and yes, we're very angry they beat us to that joke.
Police say it was easy to spot the “considerably nervous” man -- who arrived on a flight from Bogotá at the end of June -- due to the“disproportionate size" of his hairpiece.
As part of “Operation Toupee,” the officers found a “perfectly sealed package taped to his head.”
We're not sure you need to give your operation a name when it basically consisted of spotting a guy with a bag-of-cocaine-shaped lump on his head and lifting up his wig to find -- drumroll -- a bag of cocaine.
Although for all we know, this whole thing might have been a long time in the making.
Some ambitious customs agent with a hunch might have been poking at people's hairlines for months, just waiting for his theory to pan out.
Spain is apparently one of the top spots for smuggling drugs into Europe, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Ibiza is basically the party capital of the universe, and their cars run on pure MDMA there.
“There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls,” said a police spokesperson.
Apparently, international police forces have gotten better at coordinating their efforts to put an end to transcontinental drug muling.
Which may help explain why Lindsay Lohan's Beach House closed down.
Just kidding, LiLo!
Anyway, the 65-year-old (!!!) smuggler has not yet been identified and there's no word yet on what sort of
Frankly, we're hoping he gets off just so we can invite him to a party.
He's got a hell of an interesting story to tell, and there's a chance he'll show up with a pound of booger sugar for a hat.