The most baller thing you can do is start from the band and transform yourself into a global icon and a one-woman media empire.
The second most baller thing you can do is marry someone who's even richer, so that if you decide to leave all that sh-t behind, you'll still have multiple yachts to choose from.
Yes, these days Rihanna is dating Hassan Jameel, a billionaire whose family-owned conglomerate holds the exclusive rights to sell Toyotas in Saudi Arabia and several other Middle Eastern countries.
So yeah, he's probably doing alright.
And by "alright," we mean RiRi is rolling her blunts in gold leaf and lighting them with $100 bills.
Anyway, Rihanna and Hassan have been together since the summer of 2017, and by all accounts, the relationship is very serious.
In fact, many of the singer's most obsessive fans believe she's already planning a wedding ... and a family.
The latest indication that Rihanna and Hassan might be engaged comes to us courtesy of Morgan Stewart from E! News, who's both a gifted reporter and a close associate of RiRi's.
“Do I think Rihanna‘s worthy of somebody who has a billion dollars? Yes, I do. I think is he worthy of her is the question," Stewart remarked.
"I see an engagement, and I also see a baby probably," she added.
"Not yet, ’cause she still wants to smoke a cigarette once in a while, but [I] definitely see an engagement and then baby in like, two years.”
Ah, yes, Rihanna and her well-known love of ... cigarettes.
While it's hard to imagine Ms. Fenty going smokeless, other sources confirm that a lil RiRi may soon be on the way.
“Rihanna gets baby fever all the time, but she is hesitant to start her family for a lot of reasons," one insider tells Hollywood Life.
"She loves holding babies and playing with them and has always wanted to be a mom, but mostly bad timing and a busy schedule are standing in her way," the source adds.
"She used to think she had to be married to have kids and there was a time when she was young that she thought Chris [Brown] was going to be the father to her kids.”
Sometimes it feels like we don't have much to be grateful for in 2019.
Then you remember that there was a darker timeline on which Rihanna has a child with Chris Brown.
There are still things we can all agree on, and one of them is that that would be a terrible thing.