90 Day Fiance alum Anfisa Nava has been undergoing an intense body transformation.
But even before her foray into bodybuilding, Anfisa was no stranger to receiving hate and trolling on social media.
In a new post, she has opened up for the first time about how the hate impacts her.
Anfisa has usually had a very Russian approach to her feelings -- because she has avoided opening up about vulnerabilities.
Now, she's letting the mask drop and showing fans and followers how she really feels.
"I would lie if I said negative comments don't ever get to me," Anfisa begins. "They do."
"And," she writes. "I feel like lately I've been turning from outspoken honest person into somebody else."
"I've been trying to be a people's pleaser," she admits. "(Which I've never been before)."
"I've been feeling anxious in public thinking that everybody is looking at me and judging me," Anfisa reveals.
"I don't post much on Instagram and YouTube," she notes.
Anfisa explains that this is "because I think: 'who cares about what I have to say?'"
She continues: "or 'thats not something people want to see.'"
Anfisa adds: "or 'I have a pimple/broken nail/(insert another little imperfection) so I won't make a video because somebody will surely point it out.'"
"As I am writing this out now," Anfisa admits. "It seems funny and stupid."
"But," she writes. "All these thoughts have really been giving me so much anxiety."
Those thoughts are, in fact, the products of anxiety.
It sounds like she's experiencing self doubts and possibly even a mild form of scopophobia -- anxiety at being seein.
Anfisa says that all o this has been plaguing her "And it made me so exhausted."
"I'm finally coming to realizing that it can't be like that anymore," Anfisa affirms. "And something has to change."
"First step to solving a problem is acknowledging it, right?" she asks rhetorically.
She is correct.
"That's why I'm sharing all this with you," Anfisa explains.
There's more behind her willingness to open up about this, however.
"I sometimes get messages from people saying that they admire how I deal with all the struggles," Anfisa notes.
"But the truth is," she says. "I have my bad days/weeks when I just don't know what to do."
That is the most relatable that Anfisa has ever been.
She continues: "I don't want to pretend to be perfect and like I got my s--t together when I don't."
Sometimes, faking it until you make it is the key to success.
But it can also be emotionally exhausting and nerve-wracking.
"Maybe some of you are going through similar struggles," Anfisa suggests.
She concludes: "and I just wanted to remind you (and myself) that it's ok to not be ok."
Anfisa has absolutely been problematic in the past, but she's showing a lot of character growth recently.
No matter what you think of her, she doesn't need to be bombarded with hate.
It sounds like she already has enough on her plate, you know?