Even after Tess Holliday clapped back at Piers Morgan's body-shaming, the dude still thinks that her body or her health are his business.
This time, he's written a long, long open letter to Tess in which he says that he's just worried about Tess.
In other words, he's trying to substitute body-shaming with what's called concern trolling.
"Dear Tess, We don’t know each other," Piers Morgan writes in The Daily Mail. "In fact, until several weeks ago, I had never heard of you."
Always good to start your open letter with an insult that says more about you than it does about the recipient.
"Then you appeared as the cover star of Cosmopolitan magazine," Piers continues. "Wearing a green swimsuit and blowing a kiss under the headline: ‘A SUPERMODEL ROARS! TESS HOLLIDAY WANTS THE HATERS TO KISS HER ASS.’
Piers says: "It was a very striking, newsworthy cover because you are 5ft 3in and weigh over 300lbs."
"As such," Piers accuses. "You are someone suffering from morbid obesity."
"That’s not me being a ‘fat-shaming douchebag’, as your legion of fans will doubtless immediately scream," Piers says. "That’s just a fact."
To be fair, Piers Morgan is many kinds of douchebag. The fat-shaming that he does only covers a fraction of who he is as a bad person.
"The medical establishment gives that definition to anyone who is more than 100lbs overweight or has a BMI ... of 40 or more," Piers says. "That’s YOU."
"Morbid obesity, as its name suggests, is a very serious health condition," Piers writes in the most patronizing tone imaginable.
"Those who are diagnosed with it are at greater risk for illnesses including diabetes, high blood pressure, gallstones, osteoarthritis, heart disease, and cancer," Piers explains as if this is new information. "In other words, it can kill you."
"As with size zero models, your body image is one that people – not least yourself - should be deterred from celebrating because it’s unhealthy," Piers has decided.
Again, it is super weird that he thinks that a stranger's health is his business.
He quotes Tess' explanation of how she launched her career: '"I was angry and sad that people kept commenting on my pictures saying, “You’re too fat to wear that!” or “Cover up!”"
He continues to quote her: "'And then one night, I was lying in bed and thought, “F--k that! So I posted an image with four photographs of myself wearing things that fat women are often told we ‘can’t wear’ and encouraged others to do the same.’"
Piers does at least concede: "I can understand the desire to do that."
Do you sense a but coming? You're right.
Piers says: "But then you said: ‘I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life now and it took me being the heaviest to finally love myself.’"
"Sorry, Tess," Piers writes condescendingly. "And I say this with great respect, but I just don’t believe you."
Oh, good -- Piers is now the arbiter of other people's feelings.
"Nobody," he claims. "Male or female, could see their weight surge to over 300lbs if they’re just 5ft 3in tall, and be genuinely happy."
"Right now," he imagines. "I think you’re trapped in a hellish spiral of self-delusion in which your soaring fame and fortune is entirely dependent on you remaining morbidly obese."
"You’re only getting the cover of Cosmo and endless TV appearances because you’re massively, dangerously overweight yet feigning joy," Piers writes. "In your heart, you must know this?"
"The editors and producers paying you large sums of money to glamourize your morbid obesity are cynically exploiting you," Piers claims.
"They’re your enablers," Piers has decided.
"Losing weight isn’t easy," he admits. "But the first step is brutal honesty."
He then shares an anecdote about a British politician who lost weight, completely missing that this is what that man did for his own happiness.
Piers demands: "Stop lying to yourself, Tess."
Piers Morgan then brings Tess' two sons into this, writing: "They need you to stay alive and be their mum."
"Sorry if that sounds harsh," Piers writes unconvincingly. "But it’s the truth and it’s time you faced up to it."
There's a certain type of person who feels powerful when they feel that they're the lone voice of reason and that someone living life on their own terms is a lunatic.
"I’m not obsessed with you," Piers continues. "I’m worried about you."
He could worry about her on his own time and not try to make his feelings her business.
"We can keep having a pop at each other on Twitter," Piers says. "And fuel the supposed ‘feud’ between us."
"But ultimately, I’m not criticising you for a bit of social media fun or to score a few cheap points at your expense," Piers claims.
"I’m doing it because I genuinely feel you are promoting a very dangerous message," Piers writes. "And because I am genuinely concerned that your own life will be in danger if you continue down this path."
"The bottom line is that there’s nothing remotely powerful or inspiring about a 5ft 3in person breaking the scales at 300lbs," he writes as if that's not a huge insult.
Piers claims: "It’s just a guaranteed pathway to sickness, misery and possible death."
"So," Piers says. "I urge you to stop pretending your body is radiating some great ‘positive image’ to the world."
He then asserts: "It’s not."
"Wake up, shape up, and be the brilliant role model you COULD be," he says. "If you just stopped listening to those fools who want to celebrate your morbid obesity."
You have to "love" a guy who's willing to mansplain a woman's career to her.
"You can do it," Piers concludes. "And I will be the first to salute, and celebrate you if you do."
That whole barrel of offensive nonsense is sort of Piers' whole brand -- he gets into feuds with women because he thinks that they should care about his opinion.
He doesn't solely target Tess Holliday. He also shames Emily Ratajkowski for posing nude and (gasp!) getting paid for it.
In his mind, if you're doing something for a good, feminist cause, it should be pro bono. (There's a pro-boner joke in there, somewhere)
Also in his mind, other people's health is his business, and other people should care about his feelings for some reason.
We're happy that none of us live in Piers Morgan's world. In reality, Tess' body is her own and any supposed health problems just don't impact the rest of us.
Contrary to Piers' paranoid fears, no one is going to see her cover and try to become obese to be like Tess. And if they did, it would again not be anyone's business.
Instead, some people might learn to not hate themselves for their bodies -- and that seems to be Piers' worry. He thinks that self-hatred will lead to weight loss.
Minding your own business costs zero dollars.