On the current season of Jersey Shore (Jersey Shore Family Vacation Part 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold, or whatever they're calling it), most of the drama has revolved around the ongoing conflict between Ronnie and his baby mama.
But there's another story that has just as much potential for tragedy that's being mostly glossed over, presumably because it's just too depressing for the reality sitcom vibe of Shore's second iteration.
We're talking, of course, about the possibility that Mike Sorrentino might go to prison for a very long time.
Back in January, Sorrentino pled guilty to tax fraud, and he now faces up to five years in prison.
The fact that The Situation has sobered up and has mostly been on his best behavior (with plenty of video evidence to show to the sentencing judge) will probably help his cause, but it still seems unlikely that he'll be able to avoid prison altogether.
Which is what makes the latest news about his upcoming wedding so surprising:
At first, it was widely reported that Sorrentino and Lauren Pesce were rushing the wedding planning process so that they could be safely hitched by the time Mike mike gets shipped off to the pokey.
Now, Radar Online is reporting that Mike and Lauren are planning to get hitched in November -- several weeks after Sorrentino's October 2 sentencing date.
The news led to a social media rumor that Mike and Lauren had arranged to get married in prison.
These reports led to widespread confusion, as it's tough to imagine that the future Mr. and Mrs. Sorrentino will be able to host the traditional Italian wedding of their dreams in Attica
After all, it's not like you can smuggle an 80-gallon barrel of soup and 14 cousins named Marie in a trench coat.
Fortunately, it seems Mike and Lauren did their research, and they're confident that no matter what happens on sentencing day, they'll be able to say "I do" in the presence of all their family and friends.
“Ordinarily in federal court, a defendant is given a period of time (30 to 60 days) to surrender voluntarily to begin a prison sentence after the sentence is imposed,” Sorrentino’s lawyer Henry Klingeman told Radar.
Klingeman goes on to say that Mike and Lauren have "worked out all the logistics."
We guess it makes sense that Mike's not considered a flight risk.
After all, he's been jetting all over the country filming JSFV, and he seems to have no inclination to skip the country.
So it looks like we're in for a televised Shore wedding, complete with DJ Pauly D on the ones and twos.
Hopefully, Ronnie won't steal the spotlight again.