Donald Trump to Jared Kushner: Go Back to New York, Little Boy

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If you've ever laid eyes on Jared Kushner, you know that the 37-year-old husband of Ivanka Trump often affects the wide-eyed look a man who frequently uses the word "papa."

We assume that just weeks before he entered the public eye, Kushner sported Goldilocks curls and was often seen enjoying a brightly-colored, cartoonishly over-sized lollipop.

Kushner

What we're saying is, the Kush's aesthetic doesn't quite fit with the supreme alpha, cuck-trampling, charred-steaks-with-ketchup image that Donald Trump has worked so hard to cultivate.

As a result, the boy wonder who was once charged with everything from securing peace in the Middle East to solving America's opioid crisis has fallen out of favor with the president in recent months.

To be fair, there are many reasons that Trump and Kushner's bromance has come to an end, not the least of which is that Jared has proven horribly unqualified for the many tasks set before him.

To make matters worse, the Robert Mueller investigation is reportedly zeroing in on Kushner in a way that may soon leave this son of ex-con eyeing whatever options will allow him to escape his father's fate, up to and including testifying against the Donald.

Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump Together

So it should come as no surprise that Trump is not only distancing himself from Jared and Ivanka, he's also targeting his signature brand of schoolyard trash talk squarely at the in-law that he used to favor above his own sons.

Much has been made of the fact that Jared and Ivanka were the only members of the extended Trump clan who did not join the president at Mar-A-Lago for the weekend's Easter festivities.

Yes, the Kushners practice Orthodox Judaism, and thus, do not celebrate Easter -- but when we say everyone in the Donald's inner circle made this trip, we mean everyone.

Even Vanessa Trump was on hand in Palm Beach, despite the fact that she recently filed for divorce from Donald Trump Jr.

But according to claims made in author Ronald Kessler's new book, The Trump White House: Changing the Rules of the Game, Trump's disdain for Kushner predates the recent holiday by several months:

Jared Kushner Ivanka Trump Met Ball 2016

“Look at Jared, he looks like a little boy, like a child," Trump reportedly complained after watching one of Kushner's first TV appearances.

Kessler claims that Trump then informed Jared and Ivanka that “they never should have left New York.”

He “made it clear to them that he would not mind if they gave up their White House roles,” Kessler writes.

And this is hardly the first report of tension between Trump and Kushner.

The New York Times reported last month that Trump "privately asked" Chief of Staff John Kelly for help in removing Jared and Ivanka from the White House.

But because being afraid of your daughter and her spindly husband is the ultimate alpha move, the president simultaneously encouraged Jared and Ivanka to remain in their current roles.

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner

The best part of all this is that the Kushners are reportedly dying to return to their posh, relatively-felony-free existence in Manhattan, but are staying on at the White House for fear of angering Trump.

“If they leave they’ll be happy to go back to their old lives,” a source close to the situation tells People magazine.

“They love their kids so much and this is so distracting, to be a young family and have all this pressure instead of focusing on the kids.”

It's the type of awkward conundrum every family can relate to.

The only difference is, unlike that time you didn't want to ask your great-aunt Cheryl for the gift receipt for that panini-maker she got you for Christmas, there's a non-zero chance that all parties involved here will wind up reminiscing about the situation while clad in county orange jumpsuits.

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