O.J. Simpson may or may not be Khloe Kardashian's father.
And he may or may not have murdered ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman.
But the former Heisman Trophy winner and convicted armed robber was definitely friends with Donald Trump back in the day.
The sadly-not-yet-expired Juice freely admits to this relationship in an extensive new interview with The Buffalo News.
Many years ago, Trump actually thought about purchasing the Buffalo Bills, the professional football team for which Simpson played a majority of his career.
The likely murderer attended Trump's December 1993 wedding to Marla Maples at the Plaza Hotel in Atlantic City. The two know each other well.
"The one thing I can say about The Donald is The Donald is fun," Simpson says, using a word to describe the President that literally not a single registered voter nowadays would use.
Simpson then continued as follows:
"For a dude - and I consider myself a dude - Donald is a man's man. He would be a fun guy. But that's hanging out. ... If the Bills weren't winning, it would have been tough [to have him as an owner]."
Right, you know.
Because Donald Trump is simply can't handle losing, people.
Simpson does want to make it clear, however:
Just because he's a fan of Donald Trump does NOT mean he'd have voted for him as President of the United States.
"Probably not," O.J. said when asked this exact question.
And why not?
"I only know two of my friends I'd vote to be president. Some of my best, best besties I would not vote to be president. That has no bearing on it, you know?"
If it makes Al Cowlings feel any better, we're sure Simpson would vote him to be his chaffeur.
Elsewhere in this same newspaper profile, Simpson says he got everyone in prison excited about playing fantasy football...
... and he said Colin Kaepernick should respect the flag.(
(Kaepernick, of course, famously refused to stand for the national anthem back in August of 2016, saying he was protesting inequality in America. He was not signed by any NFL teams last season.)
"I think Colin made a mistake," Simpson told The Buffalo News, speaking as someone who knows all about mistakes and adding:
"I really appreciate what he was trying to say. I thought he made a bad choice in attacking the flag."
And why is that?
"I grew up at a time when deacons were in the KKK," Simpson explained.
"I don't disrespect the Bible because of those guys. The flag shouldn't be disrespected because of what cops do. The flag represents what we want America to be."
We don't have time to delve into the issue here, but Kaepernick and others who joined his protest have made it clear time and again that they were never protesting the flag.
They were protesting how African-Americans are treated in this country.
"I'm a firm believer of doing what you think is right, but I would always stand for the flag," Simpson concluded on this topic.
But you'd also kill an ex-wife out of homicidal rage, Juice, so you'll forgive us for not ceding the moral ground to you on this subject.