Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Are MARRIED, Tabloid Claims!

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We're sure you've heard the rumors by now.

Ever since the world learned that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have parted ways, social media wishful thinkers and tabloid columnsts alike have been endlessly fixated on one possible cause for the split.

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt in Happier Times Photo

Yes, some folks seem genuinely convinced that Aniston is back together with Brad Pitt.

It's not hard to see how this rumor got started.

Even before the world learned that Jen is back on the market, various "insiders" claimed that she was planning to leave Theroux for Pitt.

So when the couple announced their split, many took it as a confirmation that those reports were accurate.

A bit of a leap perhaps, but we really can't overstate the extent to which some people want Jen and Brad to get back together and make beautiful babies.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston... Together!

And the tabloid press has been more than happy to give the people what they want via an endless string of bogus reports about the two (relatively) newly-single exes finding love in each other's arms. 

The latest news of the long-awaited reconciliation comes to us courtesy of the Australian tabloid NW.

Never heard of it? Neither have we!

But that's not stopping Brad and Jen obsessives from eating up every word of the mag's bonkers new report like it's gospel.

According to the new issue of NW, not only are Pitt and Aniston back together, they're married.

Jennifer Aniston at Vanity Fair Party

A "source" tells the tabloid that the actors “decided to make their reconciliation official by exchanging vows during a romantic and super-secret getaway to Paris.”

The tipster goes on to claim that “insiders are convinced” they “eloped in Paris."

Of course, this totally-real insider also says things like "insiders are convinced" and “Hollywood is abuzz with bombshell rumors," which are phrases that have literally never been used by people who aren't gossip columnists.

The magazine's informant goes on to claim that while news of the venue could not be confirmed, Brad and Jen were "spotted near the Ritz" during their time in France.

Brad Pitt is Foxy

Naturally, at no point was the couple actually photographed strolling arm-in-arm in the City of Lights.

“They had the time of their lives in Paris," adds the source, who clearly exists only in an NW writer's head.

As many have pointed out, this seems unlikely for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that Brad and Jen are both still legally married to other people.

But why should facts get in the way of some entertaining celebrity fan fiction?

Our sincere congrats go out to the versions of Brad and Jen who exist in the parallel universe in which Brad and Jen have recently gotten re-married!

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Jennifer Aniston Quotes

I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Jennifer Aniston

You just have to love your life. I have my health, I have my friends, I have my loved ones. I'm extremely lucky.

Jennifer Aniston