Into whom Robert Pattinson may or may not be sticking his penis these days is a matter of national debate and discussion.
According to a recent rumor, the British actor is dating Emma Watson, making the dreams of all Harry Potter and Twilight Saga fans into a stunning and incredible reality.
And, trust us, we’d love to believe this story.
We get giddy at the mere thought of Watson and Pattinson procreating beautiful, intelligent children with really cool accents.
But we never really bought this chatter.
It has been clear, however, that Pattinson and Katy Perry have a tight bond.
Neither has been especially tight-lipped about their friendship, with sources claiming Perry was psyched to swoop in and comfort Pattinson after he split from FKA Twigs last fall.
Now, however, comes seemingly legitimate evidence that something romantic is brewing between the artist and the actor.
According to Life & Style insiders, Pattinson and Perry were spotted on January 26 inside Los Angeles restaurant Taix.
And a witness tells this tabloid that the stars didn’t act like two people who had NOT seen each other naked.
“They sat in the corner and were drinking a lot,” an onlooker alleges, adding that the celebrities were all over each other and making out.
Whoa there, right?!?
We added the bold above for emphasis. Because this is a pretty big deal if true.
“They came in together really late and stayed until 2 a.m.” this report continues, with another witness saying Robert and Katy were on hand with a group of friends and:
"They really blended in. People didn’t even recognize them!”
Rumors of a romance between the singer and the stud muffin first went viral in August of last year.
And why not, right?
At the time, there were numerous sightings of the superstars together; both were either single or on breaks from a significant other; and both are very attractive.
You don’t need much more than that for celebrity gossip sites to start writing.
Pattinson, of course, most famous dated Kristen Stewart, prior to getting together with FKA Twigs and even getting engaged to her.
Perry, meanwhile, has dated her fair share of famous men, most notably Russell Brand and Orlando Bloom.
About a month ago, a source told People Magazine that Bloom and Perry were most decidedly not back together, while also acknowledging that they "will continue to see each other when their schedules allow it."
Which is fine and dandy and which doesn’t discredit the article here at all.
It’s not like we’re saying Pattinson and Perry are getting married or anything.
Just that they are, at the very least, swapping spit; and, most likely, bodily fluids.
We’re talking about sex, readers. Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry are probably having sex.