What would you say if Matt Baier asked you to marry him?
(We're not responsible for damage to any laptops or mobile devices you may have just hurled across the room in disgust.)
The number of women who have accepted proposals from Baier is truly staggering, especially when you consider he's a 47-year-old deadbeat dad who lists his profession as "DJ."
Of course, it could just be the law of averages, as it appears that Baier gets down on one knee pretty much anytime a member of the opposite sex looks in his direction.
After all, Matt proposed to Amber Portwood after just a few months of dating, and prior to that relationship, he aggressively flirted with several of her co-stars on social media.
If you don't think Matt would've proposed to Farrah Abraham or Jenelle Evans if given the chance, then you don't know how hard it is to earn a living as a 47-year-old DJ.
The latest to accept Matt's offer to spend the rest of her life growing increasingly concerned as he obsessively rewatches Teen Mom reruns is a 35-year-old mother of two named Jennifer Conlon.
Baier and Conlon got married earlier this week, and astonishingly, she's willing to speak publicly about her decision to wed one of the shadiest dudes in reality TV history.
“When you meet somebody and you have a connection, you know it in your heart,” Conlon told Radar Online in a candid interview.
“It’s not something you question. It felt right to us. Getting married is something we wanted. We decided it was time, so he asked me to marry him.”
As for the allegations that Baier is a philandering drug addict who's spent much of his adult life dodging child support payments, Conlon is remarkably unconcerned:
“Matt is a wonderful man,” she told Radar.
“What people think of him and how he’s portrayed, that’s not the man he truly is. He is everything and more. He’s generous and loving," Conlon added.
"It’s unfortunate that people think differently. Matt is a good man, yet he gets attacked in a way I don’t understand. That’s not the person in front of me. His actions don’t show that.”
Conlon says she doesn't understand the public's fixation with Matt's past.
But in fairness, that could be because she's not one of the women he owes child support to.
“His past has nothing to do with the relationship,” she said.
“The life we have now is what we have now," she added.
"Matt is a wonderful partner, friend and someone who listens. I take a person for who they are today and what they do now.”
Well, um ... congrats to Matt and Jen, we guess.
Is it too late to send them a bajillion condoms and a tracking device as a wedding present?
Matt has a tendency to impregnate and dash.
Watch Teen Mom: OG online to be reminded of just how thoroughly Matt sucks.