Khloe Kardashian's opening up ... just not about her plans to have a baby with Tristan Thompson.
For the 10 year anniversary of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloe is reflecting on her experiences over the last decade. And including her regrets.
As it turns out, there are two things in particular that Khloe wishes that the show had never filmed anything about.
For the 10 year anniversary of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian penned an essay for Glamour that was long and very informal.
(That's not a dig -- this post is also informal)
She talks about how it all began.
"At my mom’s house, we’d always have these big family dinners. Ryan Seacrest came to one and was like, 'You guys are crazy. You need to be on TV.' My mom and my sister Kim wanted to do the show, but Kourtney and I were really against it."
That really fits with their respective characters -- in the past, anyway.
Also, if you ever want to know who should shoulder the blame for the Kardashians, you have your answer.
"We were like, 'No -- we love our little life. We love what we’re doing.' But Ryan said, 'We need the whole family or nobody at all.' So my mom kind of sold it to us as a great commercial for our stores. We were like, 'Ugh, fine.’"
Note that Kendall and Kylie, it sounds like, never even got a word in.
At the beginning, Khloe says, she was a novice about being a reality star.
"I’d still go to the Fantastic Sams across the street from my store a few times a week to get a blow-dry for $25. I did my own makeup."
That explains why she looked so much better on Law & Order: LA in her one little cameo appearance but so often wasn't flattered by camera lighting elsewhere.
If you're going to be on TV, folks, you need to have your makeup done by a professional.
(A lot of male politicians seem terrified at this prospect, but even they bite the bullet or the cameras will make a 50 year old man look like he's at death's door)
"Occasionally I’ll catch an old episode and notice how we all talked in these baby voices. It’s crazy if you listen to it now. I think maybe we did it because we were nervous."
A lot of people use vocal fry when they speak, and it's not out of nervousness.
"We film six days a week, 12 to 18 hours a day, every single day."
Yeah, that's a bonkers schedule.
Though, to be fair, the family is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, so ... most would say that it's worth it.
"When you compile that much footage into 13 or 14 44-minute episodes, you can find a lot of drama. Not every episode is juicy to us; it’s only juicy to the audience."
Recently, not that much has been juicy to audiences, either. But every now and then, the show surprises you.
But now we get to Khloe's regrets.
"Things like Kim’s robbery or Caitlyn’s transition? That’s the kind of stuff we wish we had never filmed."
That makes a lot of sense.
Filming things around what will hopefully be the single most traumatic incident in Kim's life is ... of questionable taste.
A lot of people get filmed during or after major traumas (like after the destruction and death of Hurricane Harvey ... or, soon, Hurricane Irma).
Most people don't voluntarily film themselves in the aftermath of trauma. Not that extensively, anyway.
As for Caitlyn's transition. ...
It was important for America to see a tremendously famous trans woman, despite the backlash.
Caitlyn Jenner, as it turns out, is still a terrible role model. That's why she gets confronted by more authentic trans activists who have been fighting for their rights a lot longer, and who don't support politicians who oppose their rights.
Khloe kind of exists in the celebrity bubble, though.
Maybe she just meant that she wishes that they hadn't given Caitlyn so much air time over the years.
Currently, Caitlyn is somewhat estranged fromt he family -- Cait and Kim Kardashian haven't spoken in 9 months.
Khloe's meaning isn't especially clear.
Khloe also gets into how things aren't planned.
"We aren’t ever like, 'Oooh! Let’s do this for season nine.’ This is our life, and these are the things that happen. And it’s funny -- when we decide not to shoot things, people feel slighted. But when we film too much, they’re like, 'Oh, you never should have filmed that.' It’s a catch-22."
Reality storylines are generally based upon what's actually happening, with a little dramatic flare sprinkled in and maybe a few "challenges" suggested by the producers to stir up some extra drama, if needed.
What Khloe's getting at with the catch-22 thing is that the Kardashians are a family that many people love to hate.
There's no winning in those circumstances.
"When it comes to our drama, we are a large, blended family. If you put a microscope over any family for 10 years, you’re bound to find cracks in the foundation. That’s just the name of the game, and we’re strong enough to endure it."
That's been their real key to success: Taking the hate and turning it into money.