It looks like Dancing With The Stars might be about to get a whole lot … Spicey-er.
We’re not even a little sorry for phrasing it that way, because seriously, how else are we supposed to express our excitement — because DWTS is actively courting Sean Spicer.
We hope that the folks at ABC aren’t too attached to their mini-fridges, though.
Spicer resigned from the White House because he "strongly opposed the hiring of Anthony Scaramucci."
(He probably just wanted to jump ship from a toxic work environment before the whole administration collapses under the weight of incompetence and lies)
Sean Spicer had hoped to go into the White House with integrity, declining to comment when necessary but always being truthful.
Instead, on his very first day after Trump’s inauguration, Spicer was sent out to lie about the crowd size at Trump’s inauguration.
(Even though there were pictures!)
It was all downhill from there, basically.
Spicer was constantly used less to answer reporter’s questions and more to reiterate or defend Trump’s tweets or nonsensical statements.
He was a target of ridicule, not only from comedians (we will always treasure Melissa McCarthy’s portrayal of him) but also from within the White House.
When the Trump Administration broke decades of precedent and banned video recordings by the White House press corps, Steve Bannon joked that it was because Sean Spicer was "too fat."
Mind you, this joke came from Steve Bannon, who looks like the cartoonish personification of liver disease and also like every single male NPC in every The Witcher game.
Still, though, that’s a toxic work environment and just a really, truly terrible job to have.
Sean Spicer may not be a good or ethical person, but we almost felt relieved on his behalf when he announced his resignation.
But now Sean Spicer’s newly "single," as it were, and being courted by plenty of suitors.
Namely, networks that would love to have him as a commentator — if they think that he’ll be sufficiently entertaining for people to tune in.
And while Zack Braff tweeted out a joke that he looked forward to seeing Sean Spicer on Dancing With The Stars … it’s actually not that much of a joke, according to Page Six.
In fact, they report that Sean Spicer is being courted for Dancing With The Stars.
"That has legs," their source said of the rumor.
If you think that this is somehow beneath the dignity of Sean Spicer … well, look at his last job.
But also, Sean Spicer has worn a bunny costume before for the White House’s Easter celebration (under the Bush Administration).
Just a few months ago, he hid behind some bushes on the White House in the hopes of not being seen by reporters.
(That didn’t work out so well)
He’s repeated blatant lies to the press just to soothe Trump’s ego.
In an effort to condemn Assad, Spicey accidentally made some wildly controversial (and false) statements that seemed to almost praise Hitler.
He also stole a mini-fridge from a White House staffer’s office after-hours, walking it back to his own office, because he didn’t want to eat in the commissary and no one would give him a mini-fridge of his own.
His career has been full of indignities.
Dancing With The Stars, at least, is supposed to be a little ridiculous.
And let’s not forget that former Texas Governor and (somehow) current Energy Secretary Rick Perry went on Dancing With The Stars after losing the primaries last year.
It turned out that he isn’t much better at dancing than he is at remembering the names of three government departments that he wanted to get rid of, as he was the second contestant to be eliminated on the show.
But if a current member of Trump’s cabinet was on the show so very recently, it’s easy to see Sean Spicer stepping up.
(Especially if they offer him enough money)
Neither ABC nor Sean Spicer have commented yet on the story.
But this would be a good move for Sean.
He’ll want to distance his brand as far as possible from Trump.
Even if he doesn’t want to come accross as "disloyal" to the man who thinks that loyalty is a one-way street that always leads to him, Spicey can create some distance by doing something endearing an apolitical.
Nancy Grace temporarily improved her public image as an accusatory firebrand when she appeared on Dancing With The Stars.
And we all remember Nancy Grace’s nip-slip, whether we want to or not.
We’re not saying that some dance moves and a wardrobe malfunction are all that it will take to redeem Sean Spicer in the public eye for his role within the Trump Administration.
But … it might be a start.
Unless, of course, he decides to just disappear completely from public life.
But that would be such a waste.