Anthony Scaramucci, who despite his name and disposition and mannerisms is somehow neither a one-off Law & Order character nor a gangster who got on Batman's bad side, is now Communications DIrector at the Trump White House.
You know, the guy who says that Steve Bannon wants to blow himself. That's just where we are, as a nation, in 2017.
Anthony Scaramucci's political career might be on the rise ... after a fashion ... but his home life isn't going so well. His wife, Deidre Ball, filed for divorce from him while nine months pregnant. We have some new details to share with you.
Remember last Monday, when Trump gave a fiery political speech to the Boy Scouts Jamboree where he used his usual judgment and regailed the crowd of children with references to hedonistic sex yachts?
Well, Anthony Scaramucci was there with him.
Deidre Ball, on the other hand, was in an Upper East Side hospital giving birth.
It wasn't until Friday evening that Anthony saw the baby, though the couple had reportedly wanted him to be able to be there.
As we all know, no stage of pregnancy is cooperative to other people's schedules, and childbirth is no exception.
Deidre had actually filed divorce papers on July 6th,
It's been widely reported that a major factor in Deidre's decision to split from Scaramucci was her husband's willingness to work for Donald Trump, making Deidre instantly relatable and likable in the eyes of most Americans.
We need to be careful, though, about jumping to conclusions (especially when that just means believing things that fit our worldviews).
It sounds like there's more to this story.
According to Page Six's source, the Scaramucci marriage had a number of problems.
We also know exactly what he texted her last Monday:
"When James was born, he sent her a text saying, ‘Congratulations, I’ll pray for our child.’"
Hey, that's better than just texting: "Gratz," which we feel would have also fit his brand.
"There was discussion between him, her and the divorce attorneys about Anthony going to the hospital and unfortunately … the delivery was sudden."
Like we said, that's how childbirth goes.
The source added that Deidre's anger was a factor in the split.
"There’s been … a lot of lies."
That's vague as hell, right?
It doesn't sound like cheating was necessarily one of them, as Anthony Scaramucci's rep denies that pretty categorically.
"The only one he’s dating right now is the West Wing of the White House."
There's an image.
Also, apparently Anthony and Deidre separated earlier this year.
Honestly, as much as we'd like to imagine that Deidre ended an otherwise happy marriage solely after Anthony Scaramucci's willingness to work for an unstable orange, it sounds like there was more to it.
"She’s mad. They aren’t really speaking right now. The [pain] runs deep. [Anthony] tells her she’s not that smart, that he’s out of her league."
Ugh, we've heard of relationships like this.
Disparaging remarks like that are part of toxic relationships that should never continue.
They can also be part of emotional abuse.
However, "emotional abuse" is sometimes over-used, as one of Anthony's friends told Page Six that Deidre lashed Anthony with verbal abuse.
"She would say, ‘You’re a grifter, you’re this.’ She would mock him for being a Trump sycophant."
Well ... if the shoe fits, right?
Deidre's lawyer has denied that Scaramucci's "political ambition" was the cause of their divorce, citing "personal reasons."
She's trying to avoid a media circus because of their children, so don't expect her to go public and put Scaramucci on blast any time soon, you know?
So ... there's probably a lot about this couple that we don't know.
And that we won't know, unless this amicable divorce turns really, really ugly.
Scaramucci's hiring prompted Sean Spicer's resignation, a sad day for Melissa McCarthy but a happy day for mini-fridges throughout the White House.
Scaramucci has since been purging the White House of employees, including Rinse the Prius ... sorry, Reince Priebus ... making Priebus the shortest serving White House Chief of Staff in US History.
(Fun fact: several years ago, Trump blasted Obama on Twitter for going through multiple Chiefs of Staff in just a few years, so shout out to whichever witch cursed Trump to have to live out his old tweets)
Basically, Scaramucci seems to cause division wherever he goes, whether it's at home or at work.
In light of that history, it will be interesting to see how long he sticks around in that crumbling quagmire of an administration.