OK, so Amber Portwood … let’s just be real, the girl’s life is a little bit of a mess right now.
Like, there’s a solid possibility that at this moment, she’s bringing the most sadness and drama out of anyone in the Teen Mom franchise, and that’s saying a lot.
For starters, it seems like she really and truly broke up with Matt Baier — at least for the moment.
And while that should be the most wonderful news, and while it will undoubtedly be a great move for her in the long run, she doesn’t seem to be handling it so well right now.
We know that because, in yet another intimate Instagram Live video, Amber showed us a troubling side of herself that we haven’t seen in quite some time.
Like, since she went off to prison.
In what may be the most alarming part of the video, Amber reveals that she’s "been through domestic violence."
Which isn’t a secret or anything — we all saw her hit Gary Portwood in early seasons of Teen Mom.
But now she’s saying that "I was the one on the other f-cking end with the domestic violence — it went both ways."
"However, I never opened up my motherf-cking mouth about anybody ever f-cking hitting me! Anybody! Because that’s what a real f-cking woman does!"
"That’s what a real woman does," she insists. "I can f-cking take that!"
Amber. Amber, honey. No.
She’s saying that a "real woman" doesn’t tell anyone about being abused by her partner, which is probably the worst advice we’ve ever heard from anybody about anything.
Also, who is she referring to here?
We’ve seen her hit Gary on the show, and we’ve heard that she abused Matt, though they both denied it when the reports came out.
So since, according to Amber, her abusive relationships "went both ways," either of those men could have potentially hit her, too.
From her talk about domestic violence, Amber goes on to talk about being young — which, by the way, apparently we should never describe her that way.
"I’m sick of being called naive," she says, "I’m sick of being called f-cking young. I’m the oldest one on this f-cking show! I was the pilot for this bitch."
"Motherf-ckers need to realize who you’re talking to. I’m done."
But 27 is young, and just because you’re the oldest of a certain group of people doesn’t mean you’re old. Realize that, Amber.
From there, she advises the haters to "get off my sh-t," and the talk about haters transitions to talk about haters saying that she’s fat even though she’s down to 135 pounds now.
She says that she’s got curves, and that she’ll never be a skinny bitch — no disrespect to skinny bitches.
Then somehow her brain hops on over to Farrah Abraham, and she starts in one one of her favorite rants: the one about how she’s so much more famous than Farrah.
She claims that for most of the reality shows Farrah’s done outside of Teen Mom, she was approached first, but she turned the offers down.
Amber also says that Farrah calls the paparazzi on herself, but that she’s the only Teen Mom that photographers follow on their own.
But "I’m never big-headed," she explains. "I never say sh-t. I’m always f-cking humble, but — I don’t even tell motherf-ckers how much money I make!"
Another topic change: now Amber’s in the mood to brag about her apparently considerate wealth.
"I got a bank account!" she brags. "I got a f-cking safe! you will never know how much f-cking money I’m worth! Ever! Ever!"
While we don’t know how much money she has, we do know that she still owes the IRS over $100,000, so …
"’Cause I came up with no money, I’m white trash?" she asks. "’Cause I stick up for myself when people are bullying other people, I’m white trash?"
No, Amber. That’s not why you’re white trash.
Elsewhere in the video, she talks about prison, her daughter, and being a "boss," but the entire rant is over 40 minutes long.
No one has time to transcribe the whole thing, and more importantly, no one has enough mental energy to get through it all.
Watch it at your own risk, but remember, as we said at the beginning, the girl does not seem well right now.