Amanda Stanton knows the double-edged sword of social media all too well.
She’s competed on The Bachelor and signed up for two seasons of Bachelor in Paradise, but what’s drawn the ire of fans and followers isn’t her reality show antics — but her parenting.
So now she’s taken to Instagram to BLAST mom-shamers who think that she’s neglecting her kids.
"I don’t normally like to address the trolls/mom shamers … but it’s so out of control!"
We don’t usually recommend addressing trolls, but we know how irresistible the temptation can be.
And in this case, we’re glad that she did.
"I’d like to take a moment to clarify first of all that my kids DO have a father that is part of their life. They spend time with him too."
We wonder how many of the mom-shamers just don’t understand how custody arrangements work.
"So if you see a photo of me without my kids one weekend and comment something like ‘mother of the year’ or ‘wow shouldn’t she be with her kids?’ Well, there’s a VERY good chance that I can’t be with them because they’re with their dad."
Children should always come first for any parent, but they don’t need to spend every moment when they’re apart from their children laying about despondently like they’re on a commercial for depression meds.
Her post went out before Bachelor in Paradise‘s production was shut down and everyone was sent home, so she also defended her decision to appear on the show’s fourth season.
"As far as Bachelor in Paradise goes, it doesn’t film for very long at ALL. I know it airs for 2 months … but it actually takes a lot less than that to film it."
Now, Amanda, isn’t saying that that going to ruin the TV magic?
We kid, of course.
Any TV magic that Bachelor in Paradise might have used to make viewers forget the true nature of reality television was pretty effectively neutralized.
You know, by the whole sexual misconduct investigation.
You’d think that after her relationship with Josh Murray ended disastrously, she’d have learned her lesson about using reality TV to actually find a partner, but she decided to do another season.
But you know what? If it works, it works. And if it doesn’t work, she still brings in more money to give her children an even better life.
That’s our take, anyway.
Though clearly this season of Bachelor in Paradise hasn’t worked out as planned and may never actually happen.
"I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home and spend more time with my kids than most parents."
We know that she’s trying to be reassuring, but some parents are tormented by how much of their children’s lives they miss because of work.
Anyway, the rest of her message is kinder.
She explains that when she’s filming, her children stay with their father or grandparents. Which makes sense — that’s usually how life works, it’s just that most people are on work trips or something instead of filming.
Then she talks about how, you know, different parents lead different lives, but this time sounding a little less snooty about it than she did when she bragged about working from home.
"I understand that most parents don’t go on reality TV shows … but everyone’s lives are different. … My kids are my entire world. I am doing my best to give them a great life."
And, honestly, that’s why we have to come down on her side, more than anything else.
Fame can be toxic, but a little fame and the money that can come with it can make the difference between a good life and a great one.
How many kids wish that their parents had gotten opportunities like Amanda Stanton has?
Can you imagine how her children would react if they grew older and learned that she’d declined the chance to pursue a reality career because she wanted to spend every minute with them?
She’s not dropping them off at the mall to wander around for hours (they’re 3 and 4), she’s leaving them with their relatives who love them.
Some cases of parent-shaming are well-deserved.
B these mom-shamers sound like their families never knew to cut the umbilical cord.
And, if their wanted her to spend time with her kids instead of filming Bachelor in Paradise, then wish granted — for now, at least.