Despite more red flags than a Chinese national holiday parade, Amber Portwood is still planning to marry Matt Baier this summer.
If you watch Teen Mom online and/or follow the ladies lives on social media (It's super weird if you do cyber-stalk them but don't watch the show. Just sayin'.), then you know that Baier has something of a sketchy past.
Okay, that's putting it mildly.
Dude's past is actually so shady we wouldn't be surprised if photos of Matt on a shirtless horseback excursion with Putin started making the rounds online.
Matt has many kids with many different women, and he's seemingly done everything in his power to avoid shelling out a dime in child support.
The question of just how many kids by how many baby mamas remains unanswered.
It's been rumored that Matt has as many as eight children by five different women.
Baier denies this, but like Trump's tax returns, proof that he hasn't spread his genetic material all over the Greater Boston area like some deadbeat Johnny Appleseed remains elusive.
But it seems those closest to Matt don't buy into the rumors.
Amber has defended him on countless occasions, and it seems the other most important man in her life is also a Baier-backer.
(Pun about how Matt wound up with so many kids completely unintentional.)
According to Starcasm, Amber is extremely close with her older brother, Shawn Portwood, and when it comes to his little sister's fiance, Shawn apparently sees no cause for concern.
“I just want to stay for the record that I do not care about how many kids [Matt] has,” Shawn recently tweeted in response to outpourings of concern from fans.
“I do not care about any of the drama."
When fans persisted in their social media campaign to make Shawn realize that Matt is a capital-B Bad Dude, Portwood stuck to his guns:
“I work in a prison and I believe 10% of what I hear and 25% of what I see. There is nothing that anybody has brought me to date that cannot be explained or proven wrong," Shawn tweeted.
"At the end of the day it’s my sister’s decision not any of your decisions. You do not dictate what [Amber] does. She is a big girl I am here for her for support and guidance if she needs it.”
We guess working in a prison would make Shawn something of an expert on spotting scumbags, but we're not about to disagree with him either way.
Shawn got stern but kept it PG in his final message to Teen Mom obsessives:
"Please quit blowing up my Twitter with your nonsense because I could truthfully give a crap less,” he wrote.
So there you have it.
No more bothering Shawn Portwood with your concerns about Matt Baier.
But feel free to slam Matty B all you want in our comments section.
And if you'd like to go and spread our rumor that Baier is a super-deep cover Russian operative, a la The Americans, that's cool, too.