Eva Amurri has opened up about the possibility of suffering from depression in the aftermath of an accident which resulted in her son having a cracked skull.
The freak occurrence took place while Eva and her husband Kyle Martino were asleep and their night nurse was looking after Major James.
Amurri Martino, 31, wrote:
"A couple of days after Thanksgiving, our Night Nurse fell asleep while holding Major and dropped him, and he cracked his head on the hardwood floor.”
“[Kyle] and I were sleeping at the time and were awoken by the sound of his head hitting the floor, and then hysterical piercing screams."
“He suffered a fractured skull and bleeding on his brain, and was transported by ambulance to Yale Medical Center."
There, "I spent two harrowing days with him to receive emergency care and further testing."
"To say these were the most traumatic and anxious two days of my life is an understatement.”
This is genuinely one of the most shocking, heartbreaking stories we've ever reported on.
When you leave your child in the care of someone else you trust, you don't expect anything of this nature to happen.
Thankfully, it seems like Major James is making a good recovery.
“But here’s the good part: by the grace of all of his many angels, and every God one cares to pray to, MAJOR IS FINE. Completely fine,” she wrote.
“He has been healing well, hitting milestones, cooing, smiling, and generally showing us that he is and will be ok as he grows and develops.”
“I chose not to share [for] fear of judgment. The internet can be a peculiar place, where some people forget about humanity and go for the jugular."
"I know that this news might reach many, and of those many there will always be the people who say that this accident was my fault,” she wrote.
“That if it had been me in there holding him instead of a Night Nurse, that this never would have happened."
"That I deserve this for allowing my child to be in the care of somebody other than me."
“Well, let me tell you ... the guilt I bore in the days and weeks after this accident was more intense and more damaging than anything I would wish upon my worst enemy."
"I had all those same thoughts and more.”
She continued, “I wept in the hospital, telling anyone who would listen that it should have been me. That I was to blame.'
"The truth is, even this woman who came so highly recommended, with a perfectly clean track record, could make a very human mistake."
"It ‘could happen to anyone,’ and as they told me repeatedly in the hospital, it DOES happen to anyone. More often than you’d like to hear."
“Obviously, the (extremely upset and remorseful) nurse is no longer working for our family, though we forgive her."
"And even though I finally made peace with the fact that this freak accident could not have been avoided by me, it has continued to effect me to my core and in all aspects of my daily life.”
The actress then revealed that she did not trust anyone to look after her child anymore.
“It’s nearly impossible for me to trust anyone but myself to take care of Major now,” she wrote.
“Hearing Major cry hard immediately triggers my memories of the moments after the accident and instigates an immediate panic attack."
"My heart races and tears spring to my eyes."
Eva took to Instagram just yesterday to wish her fans a happy new year, with a cute picture of herself and her happy, healthy family.