In case you moved into a cave as a precautionary measure on November 8, former reality star and angry tangerine Donald Trump was elected Preseident of the United States of America last month.
Of course, the deal has yet to be sealed, but the electoral college vote that will ensure the Donald's ascendancy to the highest office in the land is all but a formality.
Or is it?
If you're like us, everything you learned in sixth grade civics class has been replaced by fun facts about the Kim Kardashian sex tape during your previous eight years of political complacency.
So a quick refresher might be in order:
Presidential elections aren't decided by the popular vote, but by the Electoral College - a group of pledged delegates who are selected by the popular vote.
As far as anyone can tell, the reason for this is that the Founding Fathers were pissed at the world because they were born into an era in which powdered wigs and knee-high socks were en vogue, and they therefore decided to take their revenge on the future with a needlessly complex democratic process.
Anyway, making matters even more f--ked up is the fact that electors are not legally bound to vote the way their state decided, which is all the more reason that your vote counts about as much as that time you had a threesome in a dream.
Obviously, the system is insane and in desperate need of a top-to-bottom overhaul, but the good news is that in this case, it offers a sliver of hope that we might not have to spend the next four years praying that the Orange Prophet of Doom doesn't tweet a declaration of nuclear war with China.
One elector has already stepped down in order to avoid casting a vote for Trump, and now Christopher Suprun, a Texas elector, paramedic, and first responder to the Pentagon on 9/11 is taking even more of a hard-line stance against the least-qualified commander-in-chief in US history.
In an op-ed piece published by The New York Times this week, Suprun stated that he will not cast a vote for Trump on December 19, claiming that the real estate mogul and political neophyte “shows daily he is not qualified for office.”
“Mr. Trump,” Suprun wrote, “lacks the foreign policy experience and demeanor needed to be commander in chief ... Mr. Trump urged violence against protesters at his rallies during the campaign. He speaks of retribution against his critics.”
Suprun pointed out that the Federalist Papers argue that it is the job of the Electoral College to ensure that candidates are “qualified, not engaged in demagogy, and independent from foreign influence.”
He called upon his fellow electors to "do their job" and rally around an “honorable and qualified” candidate, such as Ohio Governor John Kasich.
Obviously, Suprun is waging a quixotic battle with little chance of success, but his assessment of the duties of the electors is absolutely accurate, and if even a handful of his colleagues follow his lead, it may help send the message to the rest of the world that many, many Americans share their concerns about a Trump presidency.