If you’ve been anywhere in the vicinity of an Internet-capable device in the past 12 months, you know that 2016 was an absolute sh-tshow of a year.
In fact, we’ve reached the point where jokes about how bad 2016 was have made the list of things that sucked about 2016.
Fortunately, like an angel who fell to Earth and crash-landed in a Hot Topic, Avril Lavigne is here to save the day with unintentional hilarity by kicking off the most ridiculous and one-sided celebrity feud in recent memory:
The songstress and poet laureate of sk8r boi’s everywhere is married to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroger, a coupling that somehow didn’t bring about the End Times.
Short of both members of the Insane Clown Posse entering into a polygamous union with Meghan Trainor, it’s impossible to imagine a marriage that would be more horrifying to music fans, and yet, the former Mrs. Lavigne-Kroger seems oblivious to the fact that folks aren’t particularly fond of her ex-husband’s strained howls and “embarrassing Facebook memory”-caliber lyrics.
One would think that at this point she would just shrug off jokes about the fact that Chad’s name is listed in thesauruses as the antonym of “music,” but apparently punk rawk badittude never takes a day off.
Earlier this week, Facebook founder and Jesse Eisenberg impressionist Mark Zuckerberg posted a video in which he shows off his Morgan Freeman-voiced A.I. home assistant, Jarvis.
At one point in the video, the Zuck shows that even billionaires can’t resist the occasional bite of low-hanging fruit when he takes a jab at the band everyone, well … not loves to hate. Just hates, really.
When he asks Jarvis/Freeman to “play some good Nickelback songs,” the computer responds:
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Jarvis said. “There are no good Nickelback songs.”
“Good. That was actually a test,” Zuckerberg responds.
“How about just play some songs that our whole family likes.”
Kind of a dated reference, but Mark is a purveyor of #FakeNews, not a comedian.
(That was a joke, Zuck. Please don’t publish our private messages in retaliation.)
Anyway, you’d think that sort of thing would roll right off Avril’s back these days, but apparently not:
Lavigne posted the above note to Zuckerberg on Twitter (ironic use of social media burn!), presumably while snarling.
Avril tagged “@facebook” in the post, just so no one would think that she’s addressing Ruffalo or one of the other famous Marks with whom she’s not actually on first-name terms.
The strange part of this isn’t that Avril attempted to shame Zuckerberg for making a joke at the expense of a bunch of middle-aged straight, white millionaires by also tagging anti-bullying organizations.
No, what’s really weird is that Lavigne and Kroeger broke up last year, and yet she’s still fighting his social media fights for him.
We can’t figure it out!
Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, Avril?