KFC isn't exactly fine dining, but the Colonel and company can always be relied upon to deliver literal buckets full of artery-clogging fried flesh from animals that can technically be described as chickens.
But one woman in Hopewell Junction, New York says that the company's latest ad campaign is for the birds, and she's suing for a staggering amount after complaining that she didn't receive all the greasy goodness that she paid for.
Anna Wurtzburger may have "burger" in her name, but when it's fast food time (and really, when is it not?) she eschews Ronald, Wendy and other gingery purveyors of beef in favor of the Colonel's secret recipe:
Unfortunately, she claims that during her latest visit, she didn't get what she pair for.
You're probably already familiar with the company's current, baffling marketing campaign, which features an ever-changing roster of actors portraying Colonel Sanders.
In the past few months, the white suit has been donned by (deep breath):
Darrell Hammond, Norm MacDonald, Jim Gaffigan, Rob Riggle, George Hamilton, and Pete Campbell from Mad Men, because the universe stopped making sense around the time Trump announced his presidential campaign.
But no matter who was rocking the wig and specs, the message remained the same:
KFC is an affordable option for parents who are looking to slowly murder their children with cholesterol.
Wurtzburger says she scooped up the company's "Family Fill-Up" after seeing it advertised on TV.
Unfortunately, after finishing the meal, her family was filled not with chicken, but with seething rage!
“I came home and said, ‘Where’s the chicken?’ I thought I was going to have a couple of meals,” Wurtzburger tells the New York Post.
“They say it feeds the whole family," the 65-year-old adds.
"They’re showing a bucket that’s overflowing with chicken. You get half a bucket! That’s false advertising, and it doesn’t feed the whole family. They’re small pieces!”
Wurtzburger says she called the company's headquarters, which is apparently in Georgia (Ed. note: ?!?!?!?!), and lodged a complaint, but was promptly given the brush off.
So now she's suing the company ... for $20 million.
$20 million seems a bit extreme, but Wurtzburger says she intentionally over-shot her mark as she expects the judge in her case to award her less than she asked for.
Obviously, an eight-figure settlement would be nice, but the best-case scenario would be for Chick-Fil-A to scoop up Wurtzburger for a smear campaign, like what Sprint did with that Verizon "Can you hear me now?" guy.
That would show those shape-shifting Colonels!