On the second episode of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Dallas, Stephanie and Cary were dragged into big time conflict in Big D.
Meanwhile, LeeAnne wanted to create a hat for a major Dallas event, and the ladies basically talked s--t (literally) for the entire hour.
"If I'm gonna wear s--t, I'm also gonna try to look good in s--t ... I just really can't believe her husband's letting her do all this."
Picking up where the premiere left off, The Real Housewives of Dallas Season 1 Episode 2 focused on Brandi Redmond and her poop.
Or her poop-positive outlook on life. We're quite serious.
Brandi took to the Mad Hatter's Gala to benefit the Dallas Arboretum in a hat festooned with all kinds of fake s--t, decorum be damned.
This show is totally not getting a second season BTW.
Some choice lines you'll see when you watch The Real Housewives of Dallas online, mostly related to the greatness that is fecal waste:
"My hat is beautiful. It has green moss, little brown rabbit turds. It has a toilet seat poop, and a dog poop, and a dog on it." - Brandi
"Embrace poop, people, because everybody does it. And if you're not doing it, something's wrong. Everybody has s--t." - Brandi, obviously.
"Stephanie definitely wants to wear a poop hat, but Stephanie cares a little bit more and, you know, she's just a people-pleaser." - Brandi
"Zuri already knows English ... She's also working on Spanish, French and a little bit of Swiss-German. She's an international baby."
NOTE: Zuri is two years old.
"Did you know we've been married 11 years and we've never seen each other pee?" - Tiffany asked her realtor, for kind of no reason.
Good times all around.