Last night on Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 2, Scheana Marie promptly taught new employee Lala a key lesson in the ways of SUR.
And who better than a former adulterer to teach that lesson!
Having contributed to the downfall of Eddie Cibrian's marriage to Brandi Glanville, Scheana Marie forgot that just a few seasons ago, she too was a target at Sexy Urban Restaurant. Now she and Katie have taken it upon themselves to issue a warning to hostess-in-training Lala Kent.
Lala had asked Lisa for time off before starting her new career as a hostess. You see, she was cast in a modeling shoot alllllll the way over in Venice, Italy, and couldn't officially start at Sur until that gig wrapped.
Everyone hates Lala.
Fast forward to a friendly after-work gathering, where Katie asked why Lala wasn't starting work full-time right after training.
She's going on a yacht, Katie. Be cool.
Katie has a lot of model friends in Europe, so she's not sure why America feels the need to send one of their own to steal jobs from hard-working Italian models.
Everyone hates Lala.
Later, Katie tells Scheana Marie all about Lala's "gig" in Italy, and the sleuths review her Instagram account.
There's an ass shot! How vulgar! It's almost as bad as hearing "Good as Gold" live.
What do you do when you catch someone in a lie that has nothing to do with you? You call them out and make them feel terrible, because no one takes advantage of a restaurant that allows you to drink on the job. For free.
On behalf of girls everywhere who don't get invited to Italy, Katie and Scheana Marie marched over to the hostess stand and informed Lala that they were on to her promiscuous antics.
Lala caved and admitted that she had not booked a gig; instead, Lala was going on an alleged Sugar Daddy excursion.
Katie and Scheana Marie issue a warning to Lala: Don't lie to get out of work, and stop being such a slore.
GIRL POWER! Everyone hates Lala!
Meanwhile, rumors spread like wildfire regarding James and Kristen, with the faithfulness and honestly of one (or both) called into question.
In last week's premiere episode, James was overserved at Scheana's 30th birthday party, and shared an Uber home with her friend, Jenna.
Smelling a rat, Kristen got into James' email account and saw that he ordered an Uber from his house to Jenna's at 6am, a mere three hours after Uber took J&J home at 3am. Something's amiss!
Kristen called a meeting with James at a hip watering hole, ordered a "Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio" STAT, and sat seething while James giggled about his affair.
James, who was deffo still drunk, admitted that he had been naughty.
Not one to waste a good glass of wine, Kristen declared their relationship dead, and exited stage right with her libation.
I was hoping she would try to take the wine to go, but like a good, law-abiding citizen, Kristen did not break that dastardly open container law.
Instead, she gulped her wine down and got the heck out of dodge.
James let Kristen's heart heal for a bit, then popped over to her place to confess that he may or may not have bedded Jenna.
Kristen requests more details from James' 3am roll in the hay, asking if they had sex.
Did they kiss? What happened?
Kristen: "You took her shirt off?"
James: "No, she let take her shirt off."
I think he took her shirt off.
As the cameras captured James insisting that they did not have sex, he boldly admits in his interview, "The truth is, Jenna and I were definitely boning."
Also, Jax imported a girlfriend of the month (week? day? hour?) and Ariana continued to have issues with Scheana and Kristen's friendship.
Jax is subhuman, so it's no surprise he brought Brittany, some chick from Kentucky to Los Angeles. Plus, she indulges him in his foot fetish, which I don't have the stomach to discuss right now.
WeHo's new golden couple walked hand-in-hand to the back entrance of Sur, thrilled at the prospect of not only building a life together, but also a career.
Brittany dressed accordingly for the interview with Lisa Vanderpump, wearing nothing more than a glorified negligee, but she forgot her resume. And references. But Brittany is pretty and has a wonderful rack, so it's fine.
Ariana, if you lie with dogs, you get fleas. If you're bothered by Scheana's friendship with Kristen, change jobs. Quit the show. DO YOU.
Follow the link to watch Vanderpump Rules online at TV Fanatic, then discuss below which of these human beings is the worst of the worst ...