Look, lots of people are posting makeup-free selfies these days. If you wanna make yours stand out, you’re gonna have to take some Goopy cues from Gwyneth Paltrow:
1. Get an A-list celebrity to pose with you. This can be any A-list celebrity, but since its summer, you should try to get an actor who plays a superhero, because superheroes are so fetch right now.
2. Capture a servant doing servant-y things in the background. Again, you can chose any one of your servants for this, but make sure he’s in approved attire that coordinates with your outfit, and not wearing some hideous t-shirt that expresses his support for some local sports franchise or the NASCAR.
3. Be in Malibu. Because like seriously, where else would you be?
There you have it. Just follow Gwinnie’s advice and you’ll be able to subtly send the message to your millions of social media followers that you’re just like them and way better than them at the same time. And isn’t that what life is all about?
Other ways to do this include declaring your love for peasanty things like the food stamp challenge and then spending all your peasant cash on organic limes for your homemade guac.
It’s a great way of saying, "I’m so absurdly wealthy that I can afford to be completely clueless."
Alright, all kidding aside, Gwyneth looks great with no makeup. But she still sucks in just about every other way.
