Well, it's a strange time to be alive: Lindsay Lohan is off probation for the first time in eight years.
Some or our younger readers may not even remember a time when Linds was off her leash, but we're here to tell you it was a wild time.
George W. Bush was in office; Entourage was jumping the shark on television, rather than bombing in theaters; and a wholesome young woman named Miley Cyrus was kicking out the family-friendly jams on the Disney Channel.
A 20-year-old Lindsay Lohan was drunk, disorderly, and seemed to be on the verge of utter destruction.
We'd like to say the story ends with her turning things around and winning an Oscar for Mean Girls 2, but Lindsay continues to f--k up like it's her job to this day.
In fact, just last month, Lindsay almost went to jail for failing to complete her community service. She miraculously managed to finish on time, and now she's out from under the government's thumb for pretty much the first time in her adult life.
So naturally, she's been celebrating by hitting the bottle.
Because she somehow still has money to travel, despite having not done any real work since she was in her teens, Lindsay is in Italy with her dude of the moment, and she's been spotted destroying bottles of red wine with the same fervor she used to reserve for destroying her career.
But don't worry, Lindsay's PR team (which she can also still afford somehow) is peddling its usual brand of BS.
Radar Online recently interviewed Dina Lohan and the real Mother Monster (sorry, Gaga) was her usual bright, sunny, full-of-it self.
“She’s happier than ever,” said Dina, adding that Lindsay is "getting movie offers left and right."
Unfortunately, no one thought to ask if those offers are from Vivid Entertainment or the producers of Intervention.