Lindsay Lohan hasn't acted in a movie that anyone actually cared about in over a decade. Fortunately, that's freed her up to focus on her real talents - guzzling booze and getting naked for money!
All this week, she's been honing both of her skills like they're going out of style (and given how rapidly she's aging, they might be).
First, Lindsay got hammered with her 20-year-old sister in London, and now she's bringing sexy back to the holiday season with the help of a Mr. Rogers-style cardigan:
Yes, it's the latest installment in Love magazine's series of weird, sexy "advent calendar" videos. You may remember it as the series that previously brought us such memorable images as Kendall Jenner getting spanked by Santa.
But even that disturbing scene makes more sense than Lindsay writhing around in your grandfather's sweater like she's trying to scrape some spilled coke from the pockets.
Look, we get it. Lindsay Lohan gets naked for attention, and this is really nothing new.
The problem is, it seems like every time she does this, she expects a massive response from the Internet.
You'd think someone who does so many drugs would understand that you can't do the same thing over and over and get the same effect.
At this point, in order to achieve the same impact as the Lindsay's Playboy photos, she would have to stand behind an x-ray machine and juggle chainsaws, or something.