Awesome Minnesota Resident Pens Own Obituary, Claims to Be Spider-Man

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Minnesota native Aaron Purmort lost his battle with brain cancer at the young age of 35 last week.

But not before the awesome father of one penned his very own obituary, which included a shocking revelation when it was printed on Sunday in The Star Tribune:

Purmort is Spider-Man!

Aaron Purmort Picture

Reads the opening of the obituary:

Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long.

"Before [Aaron] died, we had time to sit down and write his obituary," Nora, his wife, wrote on her blog. "I've never laughed and cried more in one sitting, but I'm so glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much."

It's worth reading the entire obit in full. Here is the rest of the memorable newspaper entry:

Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).

Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs.

As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death.

In March, a Delaware resident also wrote his own obituary before passing, while a daughter made news last year for brutally slamming her dead mother in an obit.

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