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In news that would’ve been shocking if it involved literally anyone else, Charlie Sheen pulled a knife on his dentist recently after allegedly experiencing a bad reaction to the combination of cocaine and nitrous oxide.

We’ve all been there, right?

Anyway, TMZ caught up with Charlie’s PR guy, Jeff Ballard, today to find out if the story was true and they received an explanation that’s pure Sheenius:

Charlie admits there was a mixed meds reaction that caused him to flail his arms and knock some things over, but he says the reaction was caused by prescribed pain pills and a little arm-flailing is all that happened.

There was no knife, no coke, and the dental tech just made up the story because she’s pissed that Sheen got her fired:

“The story is being made up by this woman who was fired on Friday for violating HIPAA by telling her son Charlie was in the office,” says Sheen’s lawyer, Marty Singer. “It got back to Charlie and the dentist fired her.”

The amazing part? It looks as though Chuckles is telling the truth! Law enforcement officials say that the dentist’s original story mentioned nothing about drugs or a knife.

So the case will almost certainly be thrown out of court. Even so, it might be damaging, as Sheen’s trying to return to Two and a Half Men and producers are rumored to be considering the possibility only if Sheen keeps his nose 100% clean…in more ways than one.