Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Broken Hearts, Dreams and Bones

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On last night's Bachelor in Paradise, someone else bowed out voluntarily, but before we get into that, let's discuss the unquestioned highlight of the episode:

Michelle Kujawa.

Last week, we saw her exit the Bachelor in Paradise premiere at the rose ceremony, hinting that there was no one there for her ... and that she already found love.

Which was it? Both. Let us explain ...

Michelle Kujawa Bikini Photo

It turns out that when she arrived in Mexico, she met a producer for the show named Ryan Putz, and was banging him before and after the premiere episode.

Michelle Kujawa, having eliminated herself abruptly, was in her hotel room with Ryan when someone from the show decided to check up on her.

Ryan hid on a balcony to avoid getting spotted, then for reasons unknown, felt he had to jump to freedom ... from 25 feet up. He broke both ankles.

While this had nothing to do with anything really, it was a reminder that there's some reality left in reality TV, and in the case of Michelle and Ryan, hilariously so.

Back to the show and the people still competing for love and 15 more minutes of embarrassment/fame, Chris Bukowski appeared on the scene.

Because of course he did. No one there was even surprised, and he hit it off with Elise and made out with her in the ocean, much to Dylan's chagrin.

After he had gone out on a date with Clare Crawley and tried to be all nice, too. You almost have to take your hat off to the guy for being this unscrupulous.

Elise, who said she was already in love with Dylan, was told by Dylan to go meet other people. That was his way of saying she was getting too clingy.

Boy did that backfire for D. Having lost interest in Elise after that, he picked Sarah for a date instead of her, leading to even more unrest in the house.

The other newbie this week was Zack Kalter, who exchanged pheromones with Clare in the sea and possibly other things as well. We may never know.

Then, who would have guessed, but Marcus claims to have been cleaning up spilled water when he stumbled upon a love letter in Ben's backpack.

Totally unscripted and not at all unrealistic right there, producers.

Anyway, someone is supposedly in love with Ben and vice versa, Michelle Money is sad about it, and this led to Ben voluntarily leaving the show.

She seemed to "click" with Robert after that though. All is well.

At the rose ceremony, Lacy chose Marcus, AshLee chose Graham, Clare chose Zack, and Michelle stuck with Marquel, much to Robert's surprise.

Sarah gave hers to Robert, while Elise chose Dylan, but he turned it down, so she gave it to Chris. Bukowski stays, Dylan goes of his own volition. Smart choice?

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