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Like the rest of the celebrity world, Lindsay Lohan is in the Spanish party capital of Ibiza at the moment.

But while Orlando Bloom is there earning our undying respect by throwing punches at Justin Bieber, Linds is making headlines the only way she knows how – unfurling flaps of freckly flesh.

That’s Lindsay preparing to board a jet ski. Don’t worry, she put safety first and strapped on a life vest, even though we’re sure her bloated liver could be classified as a flotation device at this point.

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Obviously, the real news here is the side boob, if it can be called that. These days, it looks as though Lindsay’s torso is more or less a series of mottled folds, with boobs indistinguishable from booze-belly rolls.

The sight of Linds in a one-piece wetsuit thing is far less offensive than the Lohan bikini photos we showed you last week, but you should still be warned that prolonged exposure to this photo can result in malaise, paralysis, and, of course, this:


Okay, so obviously we’re exaggerating the extent to which Lindsay has let herself go (somewhat), but only because it’s such a damn shame.

Remember the Lindsay Lohan Playboy photos? She was well into her decline at that point and still highly do-able! Don’t even get us started on the Mean Girls days! (Relax, she was 18.)

Point being, we laugh at Lindsay’s physical and mental decomposition because what else can you do? She’s been effing up so long that the fact that she still believes that she can salvage her career is either incredibly funny or really sad at this point.

So yeah, if we’re in a crying mood, we’ll Google “Gaza.” When we feel like laughing we’ll look to Lohan.