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Katy Perry covers the new issue of Rolling Stone and inside the magazine, the “Roar” singer is her usual, charmingly candid self, opening up on topics as wide-ranging as her friendship with Madonna, and her plans to get knocked up.

On starting a family: “Maybe it’s in a five year plan…I don’t need a dude! It’s 2014!  We are living in the future; we don’t need anything. I don’t think I’ll have to, but we’ll see. I’m not anti-men. I love men. But there is an option if someone doesn’t present himself.”

On Madonna: “You really have to prove that you’re an authentic person, and you can be trusted, to be in a circle of friends with her. Which I totally understand. You have to really guard your heart when you’re on this kind of level. You can’t have weirdos around…because everyone wants to be on your dick.”

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Premiere Pic

On her divorce: “It was emotionally traumatic for me. It was the death of a dream. But I don’t really like to talk about it, because it feels like a thousand lifetimes ago, and also, it makes me look desperate, like I need it for attention.”

 

On what she looks for in a man: “I’m interested in colorful personalities. Look, I can’t be perfect. I don’t know. I think you love who you love. You learn over time. I mean, each one has been different. I tweeted the other day that I’m just looking for the prince that fits my glass Jordans slipper.”

So there you have it: everyone wants to be on Madonna’s dick and Katy’s looking for a dude to fit her glass Jordan.

It’s exactly why the kind of weird, yet down-to-earth demeanor we’ve come to expect from Katy. And exactly the reason we don’t believe insane rumors like Katy’s trying to destroy Mariah Carey.