This week on Duck Dynasty, Si suffers the "menthol" and physical trauma of Willie backing into his truck, which he turns into another excuse not to work.
Willie did hit the truck, but barely. Yet Si alleges that damages total $3,500, then lowers that to a "family discount" of $1,000 ... which is still $1,000 too high.
It did not leave a mark on the heavy-duty bumper guard on Si's truck, let alone dent the thing, but nevertheless, Si's going to milk this for all it's worth.
Soon, Si rolls up to the Duck Commandeer warehouse on a scooter and claiming, "I got back damage," then "nerve damage." Willie is not buying it.
His use of the scooter in the warehouse causes more damage than anything Willie did, but that is sort of the point of the episode, and it's amusing.
"Just a lone man on his scooter, fighting the world's injustice," Si laments.
He eventually gets his scooter stuck in Willie's bathroom, which he uses because the regular john has toilet paper "like sandpaper," and must be freed.
Complaining that the guys don't get what it's like to grow old, Si refuses to let them load him into his pick-up truck until he negotiates a settlement.
For the alleged damage to the bumper on his truck, two days of scooter rental (he's had it for one day) and one lunch bought by Godwin, he'll take $600.
Meanwhile, Miss Kay's turtle, Mr. T is missing. Bo Bo the dog is accused of having the turtle for a snack, and did not comment on the allegation.
Whatever happened, Miss Kay "can't move on without my turtle," which devoted husband Phil takes to mean he must rectify the situation immediately.
So it's off to the crawfish traps for turtle selection for the two of them.
Miss Kay proves to be more selective in potential pet turtles than Phil, who says "My perfect turtle would be one you could find in the next 20 seconds."
She later settles on a turtle, and a friend for it. As Willie says, "It doesn't really matter what family says they want. They just want to know that you care."