The Bachelor Recap: Milking It So Hard

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Sean Lowe navigated several crazy dates (and women) in Whitefish, Montana last night in the first part of a special Bachelor two-night event.

Yes ... it's back on tonight. For two hours.

The star of the "event" (and season) so far has been Tierra LiCausi, who continues to stoop to new lows as she desperately seeks attention.

How far will this nut job make it? Check out The Bachelor spoilers if you dare, then come along for THG's official +/- recap of The Bachelor!

Bachelor Outdoors

"I do like a girl who can wear high heels one day and rough it the next day," Sean says … unaware he may have no such women in the field. Minus 10.

Sean admits that the wedding dress stunt almost got Lindsay kicked off the show the first night, but here she is, and she gets the first one-on-one.

Linds is not the most mature-seeming candidate but they did bond over her growing up an Army brat and just wanting to settle down. Plus 10.

She gets the rose and the couple walked to downtown Whitefish where they dance on a platform in the middle of a crowd gathered for a concert.

Lindsay said Sean would be a good father and husband. "You can't ask for better," she said. In that respect she's right on the money. Plus 40.

Do they always have to dance in front of crowds/at concerts? Minus 10.

The relay-race-type competition group date is awkward as always. Canoe. Saw. Milk. Drink. At least they have some really cute shirts. Plus 20.

"I will down goat's milk to get more time with Sean," Desiree says. Good to know she'll swallow whatever it takes! Sorry, but come on Des.

She did. Her team won. Way to be. The winning team was Desiree, Sarah, Robyn and Selma ... not that it really mattered much in the end.

The losing team of Catherine, Daniella, Lesley and AshLee was forced to leave the date, only to be invited back by Sean Lowe hours later.

The winning team was not happy. Minus 20, since we do sort of get that, but Plus 20 for Sean trying to focus on what this is really all about.

And Minus 50 for Tierra LiCausi crashed the group date's party. When you're not even on the date? That's just uncool and sort of pathetic.

"I worry about Tierra because I know that she's having a hard time," Sean said. "I don't know what to make of it." One word: Cray-cray. Plus 20.

Desiree Hartsock's frustration only grew when rival team member AshLee stole Sean away for some alone time after the losing team arrived.

"I just adore you," the gorgeous AshLee Frazier told Sean. "I'm crazy about you," Sean told her. She could be a dark horse contender. Plus 50.

Catherine Giudici spent time with Sean next. He likes her because he just wants to cuddle her all the time. Hey, whatever does it for you. Plus 15.

Daniella saw Catherine and Sean cuddling and started crying. Girls need to remember they signed up to go on THE BACHELOR here. Minus 25.

Sean took Tierra and Jackie horseback riding on the two-on-one date. "Jackie does not know she's on a date with me and my husband," Tierra cackled.

Minus 80 for the insane face Tierra makes whenever she delivers one of her HILARIOUS jokes. She's actually starting to scare us a little bit here.

Jackie seals her own fate by spending her alone time with Sean telling him how Tierra flirted with some guy at the airport en route to Montana.

Minus 40 because undermining just makes you look weak.

Then Tierra lays out the trump card: She was in relationship with a guy for about five years who was in and out of rehab until he DIED in 2009.

She got the rose. Jackie got a plane ticket home. Sean was confident that he'd made the right decision. The remaining women are not. Minus 40.

"I seriously want to punch everyone in this room in the face," Tierra, at the cocktail party. Plus 30, because she is truly one-of-a-kind at this point.

Minus 30 for the guy who eventually gets duped into marrying Tierra.

Roses: Catherine, Desiree, Lindsay, Lesley, AshLee, Sarah, Daniella, Tierra and Selma. Out: Robyn and Jackie. We're down to nine aspiring wives.


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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]