Cyndi Lauper Writes About Depression, Abuse, Thoughts of Suicide

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Cyndi Lauper struck it huge in the 1980s by singing that Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

But in her new autobiography, the singer writes about how her childhood was filled with anything but carefree enjoyment.

Faced with an abusive stepfather who threatened to rape her and her sister, Lauper grew up in poverty and in deep depression.

“I had no television, no stereo, nothing. I was still a kid and I was alone," the artist recalls in Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir. “A lot of times I couldn’t take it anymore, so I just lay in bed all the time. When I really couldn’t deal with anything, I used to get the shakes, just ­complete anxiety attacks.

“I’d empty out the cupboard under the sink and crawl under there. I’d stay in there ­because it was enclosed, and slowly I would begin to feel better.”

Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir Cover

Even when she achieved professional success, Lauper couldn't relax and bask in the glory of a career than eventually resulted in 50 million records sold.

"I had come so far but felt like I had failed," Lauper says of her time living in a NYC hotel. "I disappointed the record company because I didn’t come home with an armful of awards like they expected. It was always like that; it was never enough."

The singer contemplated taking her own life.

“It was such a dark time for me.. l I was two steps off of that balcony... I would go to the studio and then sit in my dark room and drink vodka. I had to spend most of my time alone. I was grieving. I thought the sadness would never go away.

"The only thing that always ­prevented me from suicide is that I never wanted a headline to read, ‘Girl who wanted to have fun just didn’t’.”

Now married to David Thornton, Lauper appears to have beaten back her demons. But reading about how far this pop star once fell is a fascinating story and it will be available to all on on September 18.

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