On the season finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, one marriage ends, another is about to begin, and Kandi hopes her new business will spread “Happiness & Joy.”
In case you missed a moment of the suspense, we break down all of the Rolex watches, Porsches, and bright pink vibrators right here in THG’s +/- review …
NeNe finally signed the divorce papers and she’s feeling down. Time for a little shopping therapy with Cynthia. I’ll give her a Plus 5 for finally making a decision and moving on.
But not so fast. NeNe’s lamenting that divorce means she and Gregg will have to cut off everything, even the sex. Yes, NeNe. For most people that’s what divorce means.
NeNe’s looking to live the single life as a player and that means continuing to string sleazy John along. Minus 12. If I never see this man again it will still be too soon.
Unfortunately as long as he’s plying NeNe with fancy shoes and Rolex watches, she’ll keep taking his calls even if she looks wildly uncomfortable sitting next to him.
Cynthia’s working on The Bailey Agency model search and from the look of that line outside everyone and their ugly sister thinks they can be a model. Minus 10.
However I did think it was amusing when Cynthia chastises a girl for wearing shorts that barely cover her butt while Cynthia is sitting there practically falling out of her top.
They might even have to find their own restaurants to eat at. Minus 12. Mensa graduates need not apply.
It’s Kroy’s birthday so he and Kim head out for dinner but they never make it past the appetizers. They’re both so excited about his new gift that they take the entree to go. So what’s the big surprise?
The valet drives up with Kroy’s brand new Porsche Panamera Turbo Sedan. It is one smokin’ hot car and Plus 20 to Kim. She can buy me a present any day.
But Kim’s a little nervous. She hopes the car is OK because she’s never even driven it. Not to worry. I’m sure it will be more than fine.
Kandi’s adult toy line is ready to launch. Plus 11 because I do love the cheeky name. Bedroom Kandi has high end packaging and lots of hot pink attachments. She’s planning a premiere party and enlists Phaedra and Sheree’s help to hire the entertainment.
The ladies are more than happy to weed out the hot men from the regular looking guys who walk though the door. Phaedra’s even quick to ask them to cut to the chase and take their shirts off when they walk in. Plus 5 because it does save time.
The crew they pick are hunky, shirtless men who feed them strawberries and massage their feet. Can I get an invite to this party?
Looks like almost anyone can as Kandi announces it on Twitter much to NeNe, Marlo, and Cynthia’s dismay. They don’t care to mingle with the masses and spend their evening hiding in a corner. Minus 8. It’s rude not to say hello to you host … and friend!
NeNe wants to be a player but a sex toy party is a little too much for her. Or was it that Kim entered the room. Minus 7 because it’s really time to get over that. Either way, NeNe flees early. She won’t even get a shoulder massage although I’ll admit I’ve never had to get into bondage chains for a massage before?!?
The funny part is that NeNe is Cynthia and Marlo’s ride but she ditches them and runsSo much for a fun night out with the girls.
With the season over, we get a brief recap of what the ladies are now up to:
- I thought Kandi was a little too excited by her own sex toys but obviously I was wrong. The profits from spreading “Happiness & Joy” have paid for a new luxury estate. Plus 10.
- Perhaps Sheree should consider this industry. She’s still fighting with her ex over child support and Chateau Sheree is nothing more than a hole in the ground. Minus 8.
- Of course Phaedra’s got two new ventures. She’s designing a new make up line for morticians and she and Apollo or shooting a fitness video…specializing in donkey booties. I can’t even score that one.
- Cynthia’s modeling classes are full and she and Mal are speaking again … just not about Peter. Plus 3.
- And NeNe’s moving on, sort of. She snagged a recurring role on Glee and although she’s officially divorced, she and Gregg are still having a friends with benefits relationship. Minus 5 for not quite moving on.
- Kim and Kroy officially tied the knot on 11/11/11. Plus 15 to the happy couple and the cool wedding date. Minus 3 because they have yet to take their honeymoon.
EPISODE TOTAL: +7! SEASON TOTAL: -383!
The season might be over but we’ve still got the reunion show to live through so check back next week to recap one more week of fussing an fighting from Atlanta.