Teen Mom 2 Recap: Santa Has Left the Building!

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Last week's joy-filled holiday episode of Teen Mom 2 felt like a distant memory after this week's double installment, which basically doubled the baby mama drama.

We're not even talking about the latest Jenelle Evans arrest, either - this footage is a year old, people! She's moved on to many other police altercations since then!

Not so say life was hunky dory for her - or her co-stars - last night.

It's hard to even know where to begin breaking down Teen Mom 2 drama like we saw Tuesday, but that's what we do. Let's get down to business, THG's +/- style!

Jenelle Evans Cracked Out

Chelsea Houska tries a new hair color. Not a huge fan! Minus 5.

Her friend Megan announced she's pregnant! There's a surprise! Something in that South Dakota water, perhaps. Megan's totally chill about it, too, like this is just what you do - fornicate sans protection so you can be a star on MTV. Minus 30.

While house hunting, Chels does not want to "walk up a bunch of steps." That's terrible, having to walk, we know. Minus 6, even if she did just have knee surgery.

Plus 14 for dad Randy, who agrees to front the rent on the condition that Adam Lind is not allowed on the premises. Randy really does try his best with this mess.

Adam waffles on whether to help his baby mama move. The dual constraints of work and being a douche have apparently made this task too onerous. Minus 8.

He later shows up, mostly to say he refuses to help and act like an even bigger d-bag, if that's possible, leaving Chelsea alone in an empty house. Minus 19.

Kailyn Lowry doesn't have custody of Isaac on his actual birthday, but Jo Rivera ultimately relents and lets Kailyn take their little one for a few hours. Plus 6.

Presents and decorations and relatives abound. And BF Jordan, who seems like he's a nice guy and a good fit for her. Plus 7, hoping against hope perhaps.

Jo's mom Janet confronts Kailyn about THE LETTER, telling her "Family is family; we stick together," in the least familial way possible. Sheesh, lady. Minus 9.

The Cast of Teen Mom 2

Kailyn smashes her car up something awful and sells it for $350. Minus 4, unless there was really no other option, but at least she got a new one pretty fast.

She's strapped for cash, though, and informs Jo she needs some child support up in here. Plus only 2, because her "sorry" was not the most convincing ever.

Jenelle Evans is greeted by the best voicemail ever: "Hey baby, just got bailed out of jail by my cousin! Let's meet up! I miss you." Oh, Kieffer. Minus 10.

How poorly-named is Planet Fun considering what goes on there?! Plus 4.

Sorry Bahbwah, but Jenelle is totes in love with Kief again. "It's not like you beat me," she says. "You just shoved me out of the way." Violently. Minus 89.

Bahbwah's advice for a court date: Don't lie about smoking weed. Don't put your glasses on your head. Don't talk. Plus 20, because that about sums it up.

Court is closed, because that happens in real life, buying them time. Plus 9.

Ohhh boy. Kieffer sees a text conversation Jenelle is having with her ex. She smushed that guy while Kieffer was in jail. The homeless one is pissed! Plus 17.

Kieffer kicks Jenelle to the curb. Which the car was parked near, so that wasn't so bad. Plus, he didn't even throw her to the ground this time. Plus 8.

Leah Messer tries to have a conversation with Corey. Not easy. Minus 7.

Corey Simms, Leah Messer Pic

A physical therapist comes over to assess why Ali isn't mobile like her sis, and there's nothing "structurally" wrong with her. That's the good news. Plus 5.

She still needs splints to stabilize her ankles. Poor thing. Minus 3.

Corey laments that his girl is "gonna have splints and glasses," but it's a nice moment for the family. One much harder to appreciate knowing that a year later, Leah Messer is pregnant and engaged to someone else. Wash.

More Ali worrying. A geneticist fears she may have a disorder called Campomelic Dysplasia which affects skeletal and reproductive development. Gulp.

Did they ever stand a chance in the face of all this? Could any marriage, no matter the age of the parents? No points, it's just a sad situation really.

Fortunately, tests ruled out any serious health problems. Plus 50, for the sake of Ali. That little tyke has had a rough go of it so far in life. A fighter!


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Jenelle Evans Biography

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Jenelle Evans starred on 16 and Pregnant and now Teen Mom 2 on MTV. She is the mother of a 16-month-old, Jace, and has a troubled... More »
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Jenelle Evans