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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are back for a decadent day at the spa and THG is here, as always, to break down all the drama for you, +/- style!

But before we get massaged, tanned, and exfoliated, let’s hit the kitchen with Adrienne and Lisa. Why? Heck if I know.

For some unknown reason Lisa is teaching Adrienne how to make a chicken dinner. But I ask again, why does Adrienne need to learn how to do this? She has a personal chef on site and she obviously hates to cook. Minus 5 because seriously, what is the point? She can’t even find the salt and pepper in her own kitchen.

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Then things get amusing. When Lisa tells her to wash the chicken she uses dish soap to scrub it down. Plus 11 because I can’t stop laughing. It’s just so stupid.

Add an additional Plus 7 for the looks poor Bernie is shooting them as these two defile his kitchen.

From there we move on to Lisa meeting up with Malcom at his 60,000 square foot palatial estate. Apparently we’ll be seeing one heck of an engagement party here for Pandora next week. Any idea who will be using the commune bed? Minus 6 because I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know how many people have been in that bed, either separately or all at one time.

On to the spa day. Is it just me or does Dana Wilkey seem like more of a ditz every time we see her? She simply parrots whatever anyone around her says. Her need to be accepted borders on scary.

Adrienne invites everyone to a spa day. Who knew that the spa is in Adrienne’s home? Now I’m truly jealous. Plus 20. You’d have to drag me out of my own personal spa. I’ll give Adrienne credit, she certainly knows how to spend her money.

And did you see all of the goodies her personal chef made for the ladies. I can’t say I need to have edible gold but how do I get an invite to this party?

Minus 5 because Kyle is the only person I’ve ever seen go in for a facial in full makeup and come out the same way.

Kim’s late to the party. There’s a shock. Minus 7 because I’m not sure she’s capable of arriving anywhere on time. And what was up with Kim and Kyle’s trampoline adventure in their robes. That was just odd.

Finally Brandi Glanville arrives and the tension rises. Adrienne tries to play peace maker without much success. She convinces Brandi to apologize but really doesn’t back her friend much when things border on heated. Minus 10

After the fact, Kyle at least admits that she and Kim weren’t angels in all of this. Plus 8. They were complete bitches to Brandi before she blew up on them. I do think Brandi was way over the top but she also has my sympathy. It doesn’t take much for Kyle and Kim to come off like the evil step-sisters.

Kim refuses to speak to Brandi and that’s no surprise. Kim looks so brittle. Like she could shatter at any moment. I don’t know what her issues are but her mental state frightens me.

Does anyone else want Lisa to shut up. Last week she was telling Kyle she was being rude not speaking to Brandi at the party but I’d rather be ignored than listen to the snide comments Lisa makes. Minus 10. This isn’t her fight. She should stay out of it.

I agree with Kyle. They really should have gotten their summit meeting out of the way first and then had their massages. 

Overall, Adrienne’s spa summit wasn’t a huge success but everyone at least walked away with glowing tans and freshly scrubbed faces just in time for Lisa’s extravagant engagement party for her daughter.