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Jessica Simpson is considering breast reduction surgery that may push back her November wedding, according to notoriously unreliable tabloid In Touch.

“She thinks if she downsizes her breasts, she will look smaller,” a source tells the entertainment news magazine. “She’s never loved having a huge chest.”

An interesting quote, since it made her about $100 million.

Jessica Simpson Is 4 Years Sober

Seriously. How does she not fall forward?

“If some weight doesn’t come off soon, she might call off the wedding or get surgery,” says the source who is obviously BFF CaCee Cobb (just kidding).

“If she does postpone, breast reduction is first on her to-do list.”

Simpson plans to marry fiance Eric Johnson in November. Regardless of how accurate it is, this amazing article accomplishes a handful of feats:

  1. Reminding folks Jessica Simpson is still around (thank you)
  2. That she’s getting married (we actually sort of forgot)
  3. That she has large breasts (we recalled that part)