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Is Big Bird a male or a female? That issue is still unresolved.

But Sesame Street has finally responded to a different long-running rumor regarding two veteran players today and revealed: Bert and Ernie are just friends.

In response to an online petition that urged the show’s creators to marry the supposed couple, producers wrote the following message on Facebook this afternoon:

“Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics… they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

Okay, but why does Bert have one long eyebrow and Ernie possesses none at all? And… seriously, they’re straight? Are you buying this, readers?