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 Britney Spears, whose new album Femme Fatale drops March 29, shares 25 things you don’t know about her with Us. The results are … somewhat funny.

As usual, there’s no way this was a face-to-face interview. None. She doesn’t do those. We give her handlers credit for channeling her here, but come on.

She collects dolls? She chews ice? She likes to draw? She shops online? She played basketball once? This is either boring, fake or old news, or all three.

Britney Spears Closes Out 2021

Either Britney Spears is the most dull human being ever, or whoever wrote this needs to get more creative. We’re glad you like iced tea, Brit, but really.

We love Britney Spears, but it would be nice to read some somewhat genuine or moderately interesting material on her once in a blue moon. Just saying.

Also funny? The fact that she says she doesn’t have a cellphone. That’s because daddy won’t allow it. And there’s no way she bathes twice a day. None.

Not that there’s anything wrong with skipping a shower, but why write that when it’s obviously not true. We’ve seen the Britney Spears pictures, honey.

Anyway, here are 25 things about Britney Spears that may or may not be true and that someone working for her tried to write from her perspective:

  1. My favorite ice cream is orange sherbet.
  2. I take two baths a day.
  3. I love chewing ice.
  4. I make a mean fake dinosaur when playing with the two loves of my life, Sean, 5, and Jayden, 4.
  5. My favorite flowers are white lilies.
  6. I’m a huge fan of animated films.
  7. I can eat chocolate morning, noon and night.
  8. I love boutique shopping.
  9. I have more than 50 purses in my closet.
  10. I have more than 50 jackets in my closet.
  11. I love to draw.
  12. I enjoy cooking spaghetti.
  13. I’m secretly a photographer.
  14. I’m addicted to shopping online.
  15. I collect dolls.
  16. I love Adele’s new album.
  17. I really want to learn another language.
  18. I played basketball — guard — in high school.
  19. I don’t own a cellphone.
  20. I’m constantly cleaning my house.
  21. My favorite drink is sweet ice tea.
  22. I love I Love Lucy.
  23. I make my own bed every morning.
  24. I made the first move on [beau] Jason Trawick.
  25. I wrecked my mom’s Lexus in high school.