Charlie Sheen Insists: I'm Fine!!!

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Following his latest evening of porn star banging, cocaine smoking and hospital visiting, Charlie Sheen checked himself into rehab yesterday.

Problem on the verge of being solved, right. More like: Yeah, right.

Very soon after the actor entered an undisclosed treatment center, he sent a text message to Radar Online editor-in-chief Dylan Howard. It didn't exactly read like a man who has moved past the denial stage.

Charlie Sheen wrote one porn star a $30,000 check this week. It's a small price to pay for crack-smoking company.

"People don't seem to get it," Sheen wrote. "Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?"

As for critics, which include his concerned boss at CBS and 95% of the population, listen up: You're just a "bunch of turds," Charlie added.

The Two and a Half Men star might take issue with the following question even being asked (get clean from what?!?), but you tell us: Can Charlie Sheen get clean?

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Charlie Sheen Biography

What a Nut Job
Charlie Sheen was best known for a handful of movie roles and then for Two and a Half Men... and then he pretty much went crazy in the... More »
Full Name
Carlos Irwin Estevez

Charlie Sheen Quotes

Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Colin Farrell. They didn't give me any advice. Within that there's great advice. There's just love. Just seeing what's up.

Charlie Sheen

All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.

Charlie Sheen