Jersey Shore Recap: The King of All Pimps

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We love us some Jersey Shore, but this week let us down a little.

Last week's epic throwdown would have been a fitting end to the South Beach venture, wrapping up the sophomore season of the MTV hit at an even 10 episodes.

After that scintillating drama, this week felt like filler.

Still, THG's here as always to break down the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the show in its patented +/- recap below ...


Ronnie and Sammi scenes make for a Jersey Snore.

Angelina Pivarnick is gone, and we have to give that a Minus 15. Painful as she can be at times, that spark, that common enemy, was sorely lacking Thursday. Sigh.

JWoww: "I like my boobs." Money does buy nice things. Plus 4.

Totally random, but Plus 13 for last night's Bones. Follow the link to see why. If The Situation actually guest starred like they wanted, we might score it even higher.

Wanting to save a lobster, Snooki and JWoww thought lobsters ate insects and put it in a bowl of fresh water. Public schools, you get an EPIC FAIL. And a Minus 12.

Snooki and JWoww decide to apologize to Sammi for the letter drama. Plus 3, because while we enjoy building tension and all, that was the mature thing to do.

Ronnie Magro grows tired of Sammi Giancola's complete inability to make her own decisions. We're right there with you, Ron. Right there with you. Minus 9.

Despite being stood up, Vinny decides to give Ramona a second chance. Later, Vinny and Ramona end their date with a kiss. Our hearts flutter a bit. Plus 7.

Here we've got a lonely and jealous Situation.

JWoww terms three guys chilling in a hot tub "a little homosexual." A little? Ya think? Plus 4, because the homoerotic quotient of this show is really underrated.

Snooki and her friend Ryder goof around in the confessional. Ryder. Minus 3 for the name and Minus 5 more for the guttural noises they use to communicate.

The Situation: "Back in the day, they had a prophecy that one day, there would be a pimp of all pimps, and his name would be The Situation." Ass. Plus 10.

Mike watches with jealousy as Vinny and Ramona dance together. The Situation henceforth attempts to swoop in on Vinny's girl. Not cool. Minus 6, big dawg.

Trolls. Do not anger them.

The Situation later gets frustrated when Snooki doesn't want to leave the club early. It's unclear if he's looking out for her or just being selfish, so ... Wash.

"Snooki’s drunk and she doesn’t understand. She acts like she’s 10 years old." Come on Sitch. You can't call the kettle black all day and all night. Minus 5.

Sammi: [on The Situation] "If I met him, I'd be like 'No way.'" Ronnie: "You did meet him, and you made out with him." Plus 17 for that vintage Magro wit.

Mike declares himself the leader of the pack and kinda slaps Snooki, who becomes irate. Even Pauly D doesn’t get why Mike is acting so weird. Minus 19.


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