After six seasons of drama, The Hills ended its run on MTV in appropriate fashion, with cameras panning back to expose just how manufactured that drama is.
More on that in a little bit.
Supposedly, Kristin Cavallari is moving to Europe, because she “needs a change.” Note: she never went to Europe, and she never pined for Brody Jenner. At all.
Elsewhere, Lo and Scott move in together, Audrina decided to get a new house by the beach, and Stephanie is kinda dating that guy Josh now, if anyone cares.
Nowhere to be found, except dressed like an old man outside the finale party? Spencer Pratt. Here’s THG’s recap of Tuesday’s series finale of The Hills …
FINAL FOUR: The female stars of The Hills at the series finale party.
Stephanie Pratt tells the girls she is happy with her life, while Audrina Patridge says she’s still trying to figure hers out. When is she NOT trying to do that? Minus 4.
Brody plays golf with the guys and says he didn’t realize things with Kristin would take the turn they did. Yeah, the scripts are sometimes pretty surprising. Plus 5.
Kristin tells Stacie about Brody’s girlfriend and admits she’s “bummed.” We are too. They won’t even mention Avril Lavigne by name, and he can do better. Minus 3.
Lo and Scott move in together. Cute. Plus 6, despite the obvious fact they’re just looking to kill time with Stephanie and Lo, bit players for much of the series.
“Bored” Kristin tells Brody she’s moving to Europe (LOL) for the summer or maybe longer (ROTFL). Naturally, she’s having a big goodbye bash with cameras! Plus 8.
Not even an acknowledgment of Spencer Pratt and/or Heidi Montag, Hills? Where did they even go? Did Adam DiVello have Heidi bumped off? We worry. Minus 20.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PERSON? If so, contact local authorities.
Brody finally arrives and says he didn’t understand her feelings. Kristin is tearful as Brody says he’ll miss her. “Don’t leave,” he pleads. She wipes a tear away from his supposedly sad face and hugs him. Kristin even says this is a crock. Minus 34.
Audrina isn’t going to Kristin’s because she wants to move away from the “scene” and avoid bumping into Justin-Bobby. We’d steer clear of the stench too. Plus 7.
Scott to Lo, who he says he would marry right now: “It takes a while to find the right person and you are perfect.” Minus 11. Just propose if you’re serious, dude.
As Kristin speeds off, cameras focus on Brody with the Hollywood sign behind him … but it was only a painting, later revealed to show the camera crew and staff. Then the cameras stop rolling, Kristin gets out of the limo and hugs Brody, despite the bull$h!t regarding her leaving. What a giant Eff You to fans. Plus 100.
FINALE TOTAL: +54. SEASON TOTAL: +13.