Bethenny Getting Married Review: Oh, the (Scripted) Stress!

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Between a book signing, wedding preparations and a bachelor/bachelorette party, the script on Bethenny Getting Married called for Bethenny Frankel to act very stressed this week.

How well did she pull it off? Let's turn it over to our Real Housewives guru for the answer and the review of last night's episode...

Ugghhh... is it just me or is Bethenny starting to seem really whiny and bitchy?  I really like her and found her to be the most normal and relatable of the Real Housewives of New York City, but now that she has her own show I feel like we are seeing less of her cool and chill side and more of her annoying and super-control-freak side.

Paul Bernon and Bethenny Frankel

Yes, I get that she is knocked up, planning an expensive shotgun wedding, moving in with her fiancée, and trying to finish a new book all at once - but I still don’t think these things are a good excuse for her to treat everyone in her life like garbage.  For example, how bad do you feel for the wedding planner, Shawn?  I know he’s a little bit needy and up in Bethenny’s grill a lot but what does she expect?

She asked him to plan a fantasy dream pretty-pretty princess swanky wedding with like two months notice. No wonder the dude has to ask her a lot of questions in quick succession.

So Bethenny goes to get a practice hairdo for her wedding and Shawn is driving her batshit crazy. He’s hovering a bit, but I don’t think he’s doing anything out of bounds.  Bethenny would not agree.  It looks like she wants to pull out a semi-automatic weapon and riddle his body full of bullets every time he comes near.   “I wanted to suffocate Shawn,” she says. 

Shawn notices the tension.  “I feel like we’re just not connecting,” he says.  The hairdresser cannot help but see the murderous rage in Bethenny’s eyes.  She asks Bethenny, “You’re in a cranky zone?”  No answer is needed.

Later, Shawn offers to take a load of Bethenny’s plate by assuming responsibility for the small details of the wedding.  She is so stressed you’d think she’d be grateful for the offer.  Not so much.  She is unwilling to let go of any decisions despite having a near nervous breakdown every five minutes of every day because of all the decisions she has to make. 

Even Shawn conquering the near-impossible feat of booking The Four Seasons for the wedding has not helped Bethenny keep a smile on her face. “This is supposed to be happy,” Shawn reminds Bethenny as her voice rises to a shriek.  “I know.  And I am happy,” Bethenny shouts at him.  Run for the hills, Shawn.  You appear to be aboard the Titanic 2.

Bethenny then goes shopping for much-needed maternity clothes with her very compassionate and calm friend Jake.  She isn’t feeling well and starts to get upset about everything that is going on. 

“I am overwhelmed and I am really, like, breaking down,” she cries.  “Being able to do it all defines me and not being able to do it all panics me,” she says.  I’ll admit this shows a remarkable amount of insight on her major life issue.  But I wonder if she thinks “being able to do it all” is a good quality or one that should be let go of.  Hopefully her therapist can help her with this one.

The woman who owns the maternity clothes store seems to be very knowledgeable about birth.  A serious conversation develops between the two women.  “So you’re like ice-packing your vadge while you’re breastfeeding your baby?” Bethenny asks her about life post-birth.  “And like peeing yourself when you laugh or sneeze,” this woman adds. 

But really, Bethenny just has one basic question: “What do I need to do to get the baby out of my body and not have it taken away by child services?” Jeeeezzze - does she not have an OB-GYN or the ability to buy a pregnancy book?  For being such a control-freak about everything Bethenny seems remarkably uneducated about birth and babies.

Another sign of Bethenny’s increasing level of high-maintenance-ness is when she has her assistant Max pack her bags for her trip to Atlantic City.  She and Jason are meeting friends there to have a weekend of debauchery before the shotgun wedding and subsequent shotgun baby.  She insists that Max pick out and pack underwear and bras for her while she sits on her bed and texts and she rolls her eyes when he is “slow” about it. 

Come on, Bethenny.  What is this about?  Can you not toss your own underwear and bras into a bag anymore now that you have your own show?  I’d be so embarrassed to ask my assistant to pack underwear for me, no matter how much I was paying him.  I thought Bethenny would kind of feel this way too.  I guess not. 

Once in Atlantic City a group of their friends meets Bethenny and Jason at a posh hotel.  Bethenny’s friend is a horrible dresser and gets immediately wasted and embarrasses herself.  Then everyone goes to gamble.  This drunk, bad-dressing woman is to be Bethenny’s maid of honor. 

Jason’s friends have names like “Burrhead” and get completely smashed with him that night.  The next morning Jason is hung over and hurting.   “You have fur on your tongue.  You look like ass,” Bethenny tells him.  Ah, the sweet nothings lovers whisper to each other!

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