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Dear Reggie Bush: Please propose or knock up Kim Kardashian soon.

In the absence of a ring on her finger or a fetus growing inside her, look at what your girlfriend has resorted to for attention.

Kim, who has never met an opportunity to blog about every minute detail in her life, recently wrote on her website that she visited Ashton Kutcher on set. What was noteworthy about this interaction?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye in NYC

“They had this little monkey that the magician, Dynamo, made appear! I thought he was really cute at first, but then he peed on me!! Ashton said the monkey had pooped on him, so I didn’t feel too bad, haha,” she writes.

We assume Kardashian is laughing about the incident, but she might as well be laughing about the state of her career. Has it really come to animal urination stories for the socialite that once made news by riding Ray J, posing for Playboy and never eating?