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“All girls have pretty mouths. Especially in the dark.”
– Unknown philosopher

Hugh Hefner may want to take these wise words to heart.

His genuine romantic feelings for 19-year-old twin girlfriends Karissa and Kristina Shannon cannot be understated, even if the octogenarian can’t tell them apart.

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“I have one little trick, one little mark,” Hefner confessed.

“But other than that, I don’t know.”

What about the long, soul-searching conversations that are the hallmark of love? Wait, you mean the Shannon Twins are only interested in sex and/or money?

We can’t even believe what we’re writing.

Who’s who – and does it matter when they double-up on you?

Moving on to a happier, but also strange topic, Hugh Hefner also hopes Kendra Wilkinson’s unborn child will one day end up a Playboy model at the mansion.

“I’m sure the baby will end up at the mansion. We have a lot of friends, second generation Playmates,” he said. “There are a lot of kids around these days.”

We’ll have to ask Hank Baskett how he feels about this when his daughter turns 18. If they even have a daughter. Or Hef is around to mark the occasion.